


Time to Wake Up

by Jace_Diaz_Of_Hell



Series: the dreamlands [5]
Category: Star vs. The Forces Of Evil
Genre: F/M, dREAMLAND TIME, everyone needs a waltz in hell, everyone wants to protect jace, featuring my chaotic Lesbian Nova, in my verse its a yearly occurence because fuck that, luke is a bastard part 2, nico can't shut up about their boyfriend, we ignore the bloodmoon every 667 years thing, wow i'm writing a sequel fic??
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-08-01
Updated: 2018-11-07
Packaged: 2018-12-09 17:27:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 15
Words: 21,797
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11673750
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jace_Diaz_Of_Hell/pseuds/Jace_Diaz_Of_Hell
Summary: When Luke had tried to kill Jace before the Blood Moon Ball and then broken his neck, everyone thought it was over, that he was gone. But your past can haunt you at night and creep into your dreams in ways you wouldn't suspect. And it turns out that Dreamland is more of a threat than anyone would have been able to guess...





	1. Chapter 1

_The dagger pressed against my throat, beadlets of blood appearing along the edge. I saw Luke smile and I was shaken down to my core. Luke was doing this, Luke was making me push the dagger against my throat. My hand began to fight, tried to lower the dagger instead of making the deep slashing motion Luke wanted to make._

_My family was screaming, Estella was trying to pull the dagger out of my hands._

_A garbled scream scraped out of my throat. It was my voice, it was Luke's voice, it was something ancient._

_“ **GET OUT OF MY HEAD!”**_

_Arry yelped in fear when he saw me, and suddenly it was just me in my head. I knew something was wrong, though. Luke would never have relinquished control. Not until I died. Which must have meant-_

_I turned my head, dropping the dagger, to see Luke. Arry had lost his focus when I had screamed. He had dropped Luke._

_And Luke had fallen horribly wrong, his head twisted at an unnatural echo, the crunching of his bones echoing just a little too late._

_His once brilliantly green eyes stared at me, glazing over._

_See you in Dreamland, Jace. A fading voice whispered in my mind._

_Luke Johnson was dead._

* * *

Someone was shaking my shoulder, trying to get my attention. I pushed the noise-cancelling headphones down to my neck before looking up to see Nova, who was smiling at me gently. Her wings dragged along on the ground behind her, bright green, and her wand was balanced in the crook of her elbow. 

It was shaped like a giant eye, and it looked like it was looking directly at me.

"You okay? I've been trying to get your attention for a couple minutes now." She said lightly, though I could see the worry in her eyes.

_Don't worry, Nova, I'm just reliving the death of my abusive boyfriend like I do every day._

I bit back the automatic response and put on my "princess face", nodding.

"Yeah, sorry! I just kind of zoned out. I'm a little nervous for homecoming." I said, keeping my tone upbeat.

Nova laughed, dropping her hand from my shoulder after I looked at it pointedly.

"You'll do great." She said confidently. "You're _good_ at cheerleading and you enjoy it, thats what counts."

"Yeah. I guess I'll see you then?" I asked, and Nova nodded before disappearing back through the portal she had opened up.

I stood and grabbed my hair straightener, heading towards my bathroom, before stopping.

In the mirror on the wall, I had seen something.

Just a flash.

A flash of green and black.

_Green eyes, like the forest, that turned black when he was angry, and that hair that could barely stay in a ponytail, and a smile that could charm angels out of the sky or make a demon run depending on his mood-_

_Dammit Jace, stop thinking about him._

* * *

Seeing my family at the Homecoming game had made me feel _great._ It was wonderful to remember that they had my back, even over something as small as that. We heard a lot of rumors about us Lucitor-Diazes, but when it came down to it, we were pretty good people.

It was late now, most of my family asleep, and I was somewhere in between. Arrog was telling me about his latest session of a roleplaying game he had done with his friends, and I was telling him about the homecoming game and how i had barely managed to stay on top of the pyramid.

My eyelids eventually drifted shut, the phone falling out of my hand and landing on the bead with a hastily typed goodnight text to Arrog.

I should have recognized the odd feeling in my stomach, but it had been months. I didn't think anything of it and told myself I would take an alka seltzer if it got worse.

I was dreaming, I thought.

And when I opened my eyes, he was there.

Green eyes.

Black hair barely contained in a ponytail, curls springing out around his face, and a deceptively sweet smile.

"You're _dead!"_ I said, the first thing that left my mouth, the first coherent thing that came to mind.

"I am." He said, looking as though the thought amused him.  "But this is all fake, isn't it?"

He looked startlingly real.

My first boyfriend, the first person I had seen die, the person who hated and loved me more than anything at the same time.

Luke Johnson.

He held out his hand to me, and it felt like that night a year ago, with him looking at me and mouthing _Come on._

_Come on._

 


	2. Two

 

I didn't take his hand. Even if this was a dream, I felt like touching Luke- even a dream Luke- would tear me apart.

 

I had been doing so well, but the sight of him here is threatening to bring up my dinner.

 

I see a flash of anger in this Luke's eyes that's quickly gone, replaced by one of his slow, sweet smiles that threatened to melt me.

 

“I missed you.” He says, and those three words sound so earnest, so sincere I want to believe him. Instead I swallow, try to speak again. All I can scrape out of my stuck throat is a bare whisper.

“Why?”

 

Luke smirks, every bit as lazily amused as I remember.

 

“Why? Because, Jace, I love you.”

 

“ _No.”_ I snap, taking a step back. Those words are dangerous. I only say those words to my family. I won't even say it to Arrog, won't say it to Nova- my best friend, who I've said it to so many times already. Three words can unravel you. “Why are you _here?_ I'm finally getting better, I don't have many nightmares these days, I know I'm not _worthless-”_

 

Luke reaches out and grabs my arms, and even this simple touch threatens hysteria, when I can see in his eyes he means to calm me. 

 

But how can I be calm, when I used to love him so much and he tried to kill me? How do I reconcile the last images of him, monstrous and deadly, with what he looks like now?

  
“You  _know_ why I'm here.” He says, an eerily intense light in his bright green eyes. “I'm here because I love you.”

 

I cringe back at the words, but he holds onto my arms tightly, continuing. 

 

“We were _meant_ to be together, you know that. Someone as gentle as you meeting someone like me? Falling in love with someone like me? That's meant to be.”

 

“I don't love you.” I spit out the words, trying to jerk myself back. “I don't love you anymore. I _hate_ you, Luke.”

 

I can see the blackness beginning to take over the iris and I know it will spread to the whites of his eyes. I know he's angry, and some part of me is terrified, but I  _need_ to say this. These are words that spill out of me. 

 

“I've moved on.” I say stubbornly. “I have a new boyfriend now. And he's _good._ He's kind, he respects me, he'd _never_ hurt me. Arrog _loves-_ “

 

And Luke twists one of my arms, the one he broke during the ball, and I'm down on my knees, closing my eyes at the pain. Terror overwhelms me and I forget the wall of strength that has been building in the past months. With Luke here, I am nothing. 

 

“You're dating that _pixie.”_ He spits the word out like it's a curse, His sharp nails digging into my arm. Looking down on it I can see spots of blood welling up around them. “ The one who fucking _killed_ me!? What the fuck is _wrong_ with you?”

 

“Nothing!” I spit back, tears welling up in my eyes. Even in this dream, his voice is too loud. I want to hide, want to cover my ears and fade into the background. 

 

“I gave you everything!”

 

“ _Everything?”_ I shoot back, incredulous. “Sure. You gave me bruises, cuts, broken bones. Nightmares. Suicidal thoughts. You gave me _everything,_ but it was nothing I deserved.”

 

“I told you the truth.” He says, and there is a hard edge in his voice. “I told you you were nothing because you _are._ You're a horrible person, too- what kind of person dates their boyfriend's _murderer?_ And for that matter, Arrog _killed_ me. Obviously he's capable of horrible things. What's to stop him from being just like me? What makes you think he won't beat you too? _”_

 

_Arrog would never-_

 

Thoughts begin to snake their way into my head again. _Maybe he's right. Maybe I am a bad person. Maybe I really_ _ **am**_ _worthless. I can't believe I betrayed him-_

 

That word, betrayed, is what trips the alarm for me. Even though the thoughts keep coming I'm no longer certain if they're mine.

 

“I told you the truth because _I love you.”_ He says. I am down on my knees. I want to stand but I'm unable to, pinned there by some dream force. He grabs my jaw as the tears run down my face and squeezes _hard,_ forcing me to look up at him.

 

“I love you."

 

For a moment it felt like he had never died, that we were still dating. He was holding my jaw so tight I could feel bruises forming, but I bit down on the inside of my cheek as hard as I could, even though I tasted blood. I refused to say it back.

 

"I love you." Luke repeated, a slow smile spreading across his face. "And you love me. You've just forgotten."

 

 

When he finishes his sentence, I wake up with a choked off scream. The covers are tangled around me and I struggle out of them. Lying in the darkness, it feels too much like another body is tangled up with me, and for a moment I imagine its Luke, neck tilted at an awful angle, face blue like the demon in _The Grudge._

 

I can't stay in bed another minute. I stumble to my adjoining bathroom and turn on the faucet, splashing my face with cold water and flicking on the light.

 

And then I see it, and for a moment I'm overwhelmed with so much fear and disgust I almost throw up.

 

Along my jawline are a set of bruises that are fading even as I watch. A minute later, they're gone. I see the same thing happen to some bruises on my upper arms. On my lower arm, there are five spots of dried blood.

 

I scrub off the blood and keep going, scrub my arms up to where the bruises were and then scrub my face too. I don't want his touch.

 

I have to leave my room. I need to be somewhere _he_ never was, so I decide to head downstairs. Hot chocolate is always a good defense. In the morning I'll have to tell my family.

 

But the bruises fading so quickly can't help but bring a little doubt to my mind.

 

Are my night terrors beginning to cross over to my waking hours?

 

I shake my head to clear it and open the door to my room, only to find Nico slowly opening their door. We look each other in the eye for a moment before I put my arm around his shoulders and we head downstairs.

 

I notice Nico can't stop touching his eyelids, closing his eyes to run a thumb along the eyelashes. At the centers of his eyelids there are scars.

 

We reach the kitchen and I start boiling the water while he sits on the counter, rubbing the corner of his lips. There are scars there too, faint marks where a needle went in.

 

“Talk to me.” I say, and he opens his mouth. For a moment, my usually talkative younger sibling struggles to find the words.

 

“I was back in the other world.” He says, rubbing the corner of his mouth. Tears well up in his eyes. “And I could see you guys and you couldn't see me, couldn't hear me, and the entire time the other mother was telling me no one loved me but her and I was always going to be alone and you'd all forget about m-” His voice breaks off and I can hear muffled sobbing.

 

For a moment I want so badly to rip the other mother to pieces. But she's taken care of. Nico is safe from her now, but I know how he'll likely not feel safe for months.

 

My little sibling is so brave during the daytime. During the night, he doesn't have to be.

 

Which is why I turn and pull him into a hug. He hugs me back rib-crushingly tight and cries into my shoulder.

 

I can't go back and kill the creature that has done this to Nico. But I can hold him and tell him I would never forget him, that I love him and that our family does. That he's not alone.

 

 

 


	3. Three

 

I can't get the dream out of my head.

 

I replay it over and over again, toss and turn and try to sleep, am unable to. In the morning I take a freezing cold shower and down a cup of demon coffee- enough caffeine to keep a human awake for _days._ Nico downs this all the time, even before the Other Mother.

 

I know the bruises are gone or were never there, but every time I remember him holding my jaw or arms my skin crawls with disgust.

 

Finally around eleven I cave. I head to the wing of the castle that Brian, our family psychologist and part-time Siberian Tiger resides in.

 

Even though dad insists that he's not, I'm pretty sure Brian is a furry. It doesn't matter much because he's been in my world for years, and I saw him pretty intensely after the Blood Moon Ball last year. I can trust him with this. He'll be able to help me identify any of the warning signs on whether it was Dreamland or whether I'm going slowly insane.

 

When I finish describing the incident to him, he hums noncomitally for a moment, drumming his pen on the table before speaking.

 

“Based on what you've said, I can't say it's Dreamland.” He says, and I slump with relief. “Has there been anything that could have caused a relapse that created this nightmare?”

 

I think for a moment, am about to tell him there's not, then I remember the significance of the night before.

 

“It's been one year since I met him last night.” I say. I haven't used Luke's name once this session. I feel like saying it would have the same effect as summoning him.

 

“That could be what triggered the nightmare.” He said gently. “I'm going to give you some sedatives, and that should keep this from happening again. Does that sound okay?”

 

“If you think it will work I'll try it.” I said immediately. “I got like two hours of sleep last night, I'm exhausted.”

 

“I'm sure.” Brian said, giving me one of his “therapist smiles” and scribbling on a prescription pad and tearing a paper off, pressing it into my hand.

 

* * *

I can feel it this time.

The subtle tug, pull of some sort of current I can barely feel and not control.

I want to force myself to wake up, but that's one thing I've never been able to do. And I know for a fact that I wouldn't be able to do it now- Luke controls everything in Dreamland. If he's pulling me there I'll be trapped until someone else wakes me up.

I feel like I should be terrified, but all I feel right now is empty. I'm sure the emotions will kick in again when I see Luke.

In a way, it makes sense. It almost feels right. Of course this would happen- Luke is too awful to even let me be once he's dead.

When I reach Dreamland, we're in a slightly distorted version of his old home. It's his room, the same bed we sat on so many nights while I held him or he brushed my hair out of my face and told me he loved me, and I tried to convince myself that this was normal while I traced my newest bruise.

"Why did you bring me here?" I ask. I know he's here somewhere even if I can't see him, and sure enough, he appears in a moment. I don't come close to throwing up like I did before, but I feel angry. Angry and scared, but scared doesn't matter. I won't let him see my fear.

"Because," He says, grabbing for my hand. "We were happy here."

" _You_ were happy." I snap, pulling my hand away from him and stepping back. "I spent most of the time feeling terrified for the next time you would hurt me."

Anger contorts his face for a moment, his eyes flashing black.

"Why are you so _against_ me?" He asks, and his voice is a growl.

"I told you- I'm _happy_ now. I've moved on. I'm dating someone who _loves_ me."

"Do you love him?" Luke asks, his voice dangerously soft.

I stop and think about it for a moment- Arrog and I have only been dating for a couple of months now, but I knew him for a long time before that. I had a big crush on him when we were kids. And every time I think of him I'm happy. There's never any fear there, not like I felt around Luke.

But those words are a weapon.

Luke takes my hesitation as denial and his face lights up.

"I knew it." He says, stepping close and cupping my face with his hand. "You still love me."

"If you touch me again I'm going to throw up."

Not my most clever comment, but its the most truthful. Being near him is torture, being touched by him is a violation. My body doesn't belong to him. He has no right to it.

He doesn't take his hands off me, so I grab his wrist and push it away.

I know instantly this is the wrong thing to do- I've been away from him too long, forgotten most of the things that set him off.

He slams me off the wall, hands on my throat. It feels like iron and I can't breathe, and the metallic taste of fear overwhelms me again. If I have too much trouble breathing, I'll either die here in my sleep or choke myself awake.

" _Say it."_ He growls, voice low and threatening.

I picture Stel's face, strong and defensive and full of rage, and inhale as deeply as I am able to.

"I _don't_ love you."

His eyes narrow; the hand on my throat tightens.

I wake up, and a voice echoes in my ears.

" _You're going to say it some day. You know it's the truth."_

It's difficult to drag myself out of bed, but not because of sedatives. I feel like something is weighing down my arms and legs, and there's a layer of fuzz around my brain. I struggle up and make it to the bathroom, still fighting for air.

The bruises on my throat take a little longer to fade than the ones on my face did, but fade they do.

* * *

Stel was with Janna, but it looks like they're both out somewhere right now. I decide to settle down and wait until they're back, looking at the stuff on Janna's work table curiously. There's small pots of herbs and ingredients for potions, there's various crystals she seems to think will do something, and a ritual-dagger looking thing.

The dagger is covered in intricate patterns, something I don't recognize. It must be some kind of ancient mewman language.

I can't stop looking at the dagger. It must be precious- it's been polished recently, which makes me wonder what its use is to Janna. Knowing her, it could be anything from cutting tomatoes to sacrificing animals.

I pick up the dagger, thinking to get a closer look, and then it happens.

Quicker than I can process, _something_ is making me press the dagger down into my arm. Beadlets of blood well up around it- it's obviously _sharp._ In the back of my mind I can hear a snort, the kind Luke made when something was amusing him.

My brain is screaming because _this is wrong, something does not belong here, you are not supposed to move like that_ but the hand holding the dagger doesn't care. Luke- or is it me? Who's in control? I don't know, all I know is that this feels like a fight and I'm losing.

My hand makes a quick slashing motion and I'm staring at the blood running down my arm and then Janna is ripping the dagger out of my hand and Stel's voice is ringing in my ears, both far too loud and strangely quiet.

"Jace, what did you do!? Why?"

She's waving her hand over my arm and for once the spell works, because my skin knits itself back together and the blood stops.

"It wasn't me." I try to say, but my tongue feels glued to my mouth. I swallow, try again. "Stel, _it wasn't me._ Do you understand?"

Stel looks me in the eyes, searching. After a moment she answers.

"I understand."

She's lying. I can see the doubt in her eyes, the worry that I did this to myself. I try to speak again, to tell her about Luke, and my jaw slams shut so fast I get whiplash.

I think it's time to do some research on Dream magic-inclined demons.

 

 


	4. Chapter 4

 

I couldn't find anything on dream magic-inclined demons anywhere in the castle or local library. Whenever I asked someone for help, their face paled and they muttered something about insufficient materials. I found out later from my friend Nikki that apparently my parents had gotten rid of books on that after they found out what Luke really was, leaving me with no clue as to what his abilities were or how I might be able to stop him.

 

I understood that my parents were trying to protect me from anything that would remind me of him, but at the same time it was frustrating. I had no idea what capabilities dream magic users had after death. I guessed that the place Luke actually was most of the time was Dreamland.

 

Dreamland was an enigma to a lot of people. When we had been together, Luke had explained it to me as best as he could.

 

You couldn't go to Dreamland in your waking hours unless you were a demon who specialized in Dream magic. When you went to Dreamland, if it was just you, your subconsious would create a landscape for you to wander, something that was familiar to you.

 

If you were in Dreamland at the same time as a dream demon, they'd be able to sort of sense your thoughts. Depending on how guarded your mind was, they'd be able to read it. Luke had always been frustrated with me because my mind was well guarded- he rarely got a thought out of me.

 

Of course, once a demon knows what you're afraid of, if they have just _one_ thing they can connect to you, they can possess you. Control you.

 

Unfortunately, some people in my family were far too obvious with their fears. My fear was that Luke would hurt my family, hurt Arrog, anyone I cared about, till I was back under his control.

 

Nico wasn't subtle with their fears either. Even when Luke had been alive, he had known Nico was terrified of being unloved or abandoned again.

 

Which might have been why it was so easy to make the thing happen. As I was leaving the library I saw Nico, who was obviously en route to do some sort of pranking. I opened my mouth to greet them and all at once their muscles seized up. I could see his head shaking back and forth slowly, could hear him whispering.

 

“ _No, nonononono you're wrong, you're wrong, you're wro-”_

 

I rushed forwards to try and shake them out of it, then froze in place when they looked at me.

 

My little siblings eyes, usually violet, were completely black. Nico grinned but it wasn't _Nico,_ and suddenly the plastic vampire fangs they always wore seemed almost sinister.

 

Their legs moved, one foot hooking on the other, and for a moment they teetered precariously and I rushed forwards with a scream-

 

And then Nico/Luke fell down the stairs, tumbling end over end and I was racing down them as fast as I could, stopping when Nico finally came to a stop.

 

“Nico?”

 

When they looked at me again it was _their_ eyes, wide and purple and in pain.

 

“Jace-” They said, trying to sit up and pressing a hand to their ribs, wincing. “Jace, it was _hi-”_

 

“Nico!? What happened?” Mom asked, rushing out of the throne room. Apparently she had heard all the commotion.

 

Nico looked at me, eyes wide, trying to get the message to me. I just barely nodded in acknowledgement, then Nico turned back to Mom.

 

“I fell down the stairs.” They said, voice tight with pain. “I think I might have broken a rib or two.”

 

Mom went from Concerned Mom mode to Panicking About Safety mode, looking at the stairs.

 

“It's a wonder you didn't break your _neck,_ those stairs are so steep!”

 

Nico is a real trooper while the doctors inspect him, concluding that he's broken a bunch of ribs and badly bruised the rest of them.

He tells Mom his only complaint is that he won't be able to wear his binder.

But looking in his eyes, I can see the fear that underlies his words.

* * *

 

 

The sedative tasted bitter when I took it that night. I didn't want to sleep, didn't want to dream. But I had to. I had to _know_ why Luke had targeted Nico, had to hear it from his own mouth.

 

It took ages to fall asleep and during that time I texted Nova, telling her to let Venus know what had happened to Nico. About a minute later she texted back, telling me that Venus would be by in the morning and that he was worried about Nico.

 

The two of them had barely started dating, but cared about each other so much it was ridiculous. I wanted to text Arrog to tell him what was wrong with me, but something was holding me back. Some sort of hesitation- I didn't want to remind Arrog of the person he killed, let alone let him know he had just made Luke more powerful when he killed him.

 

I fell asleep sometime around eleven thirty, terrified about what I would face this time, but it didn't matter. I had to _know._ I had to protect my family, the people I cared about- even if it meant what I thought it would mean in the end.

 

This time Dreamland took the form of Aline's old house. She had broken up with her boyfriend only a month after Luke died, beyond angry when she found out that he had _agreed_ with Luke, thought that I deserved what I got.

 

She was one of my servants now, the official Lady-In-Waiting for court events or balls. She lived in the castle and, on her days off, she would come upstairs and we would watch chick flicks together and make popcorn.

 

Luke was waiting for me in the kitchen, a patient look on his face.

 

“Hello, Jace.” he said.

  
“Luke.” I said. I walked into the room and jumped up on the counter, a short distance away from him. I kept my voice level and cold.

 

“Care to explain why you tried to kill my younger sibling?”

 

“Don't be dramatic, he's not dead. Not like me.” Luke said flippantly. “It was just to give you a scare and remind you what I can do.”

 

“His ribs are _broken_ and he's having trouble breathing. He's a _human,_ he's a lot more vulnerable than you or I.”

 

“I know.” Luke said casually, smiling. “Honestly I wouldn't have minded killing him- god, he annoys me more than anyone in your family except for Estella- but I knew you wouldn't forgive me if I did, so I didn't.”

 

“How _thoughtful_ of you.” I said, my voice dripping with sarcasm. Luke's eyes narrow as he slides off of his seat, looking at me.

“It _was_ thoughtful of me, actually.” He says, moving closer. “I could kill everyone in your family without a second thought, you know.”

 

Acid begins to rise in my throat- whats his game? What's the angle he's playing at here?

 

“I know.” I manage, pulling my hands into tight fists.

 

“And,” He says softly. He's close now, close enough that I can feel his breath when he speaks. “I will kill them, if I don't get what I want.”

 

_Fear._ Cold and overwhelming as he grabs my wrist again, squeezing so tight I think I can feel the bones rubbing together. 

 

“What do you want?” I ask him, tilting my head.

  
He inches closer, his lips brushing against mine when he speaks again. 

 

“You. I want you to be with me, and I _will_ get it.”

 

Bile rises in my throat, and the dream falls apart. 

 

The effort to drag myself out of bed required this time is exhausting. It feels like there's someone sitting on my chest who won't let me move. My eyelids are heavy as lead and keep drooping, and it takes remembering the dream to get the fog out of my brain.

 

I roll out of bed and barely make it to the toilet in time, retching when I remember that Luke _kissed_ me. It's disgusting, and when its over I barely have the presence of mind to look at the bruise on my arm.

 

It's not as fresh as it was when I woke up, more yellow and brown, looking several days old. But this time it doesn't fade past that.

 

It's still there the next morning.

* * *

 

I'm glad to go to Arrog's the next day, glad to see him. He's just about three feet tall, with pale purple skin and black eyes, but his eyes are so much better than Luke's. He's _happy_ to see me, not angry. His eyes are warm, and he greets me with a quick and shy kiss on the cheek.

 

He's in the middle of some sort of game, but I don't mind watching him. It's almost magical, watching the change in his demeanor. He goes from timid and a bit shy to confident in his abilities and the game, and he can talk for hours. It's never boring listening to him either, he's so _passionate_ about the things he cares about.

 

Knowing what I have to do breaks my heart.

 

I care about him so much, I _love_ him, and now I regret not being able to say the words because of this.

 

“I can't stay, I just wanted to make sure you were alright.” I say.

 

“I'm fine.” He says, looking a little confused. “Why wouldn't I be?”

 

I exhale, relieved, building up strength for what I have to do.

 

“Bad things are happening at the castle.” I say. “Nico fell down the stairs, Estella thinks I did something I didn't, and I can't trust my own mind anymore.”

 

I rub the faded bruise on my wrist, closing my eyes.

 

“Correction: I can't trust _anything_ right now.” I say, and its a struggle to get the words out. I'm trying not to choke. Or cry. I wouldn't be able to stand crying in front of Arrog when I know I'm going to hurt him. “Especially myself. And something might- something might happen.”

 

“Jace?” He says. His voice is so quiet, nothing like Luke's. I bite my lip and swallow.

 

“I don't want anything to happen to you.” I say, and my voice breaks even though I don't want it to. “Nico broke his ribs because of me- and if something happened to you I would _never_ forgive myself. So, until I can find out what's going on, what's _wrong_ with me... Until then I shouldn't see you anymore.”

 

I rush out of the room, trying hard not to cry.

 

Behind me I can hear Arrog talking in bell-speak, but I shut it out, force myself not to listen.

 

“You win, Luke.” I whisper.

  
Somewhere in the back of my mind I can hear a faintly amused scoff.

 


	5. Chapter 5

 

Arrog knew what it would be the moment he felt the sting of light glistening through the stained pixtopian chapel. He remembered the casket, the mourners, _her_ hand on his shoulder, squeezing for all the world as if she were real. As if she _wasn't_ ... Arrog shook the thought out of his head. Tried to imagine anything but the curved Cheshire scar along his mother's palm. There was no way. There was just _no way_ ... He was just being paranoid, like always. He had made a mistake, she had seen him flinch. Just like in one of his games, the level restarted. He was taken back to the beginning, walking with his mother up to the house of sickness, a cup of acorn soup for his beloved aunt. He was not allowed in the house, the plague his aunt carried too powerful for his tiny body. He handed his mother the cup, and the inside of her thumb accidentally brushed the hot ceramic bottom. Her shriek had been small in memory, but amplified always in nightmares. She had held her hand to her chest and smiled at him, trying to hide the wound. Always trying to hide that hand, going as far as to send him to the Underworld to keep him from getting a good look at her _hand..._

  
  


Luke had remained hidden, out of sight. He always did this at first- better to know what people were afraid of, better to know how to handle them. And he _definitely_ wanted to know what this person was afraid of- a tiny, apparently harmless pixie who had _broken_ his neck and then had the nerve to date his girlfriend afterwards. He watched the pixie and the woman, curious as to who she was- was this what he was afraid of? If so, it seemed like it would be beyond easy to use against him. Just a face, a few words, and terror would set in.

  
  


The priest spoke, it was time to bid the crown princess goodbye. The mourners collected in a small line, Arrog was ushered to the back with the rest of the royal family. Peasants and merchants were only permitted to touch their foreheads to the base of her coffin, and the higher the nobility of the mourner, the closer they were allowed to pay their respects. Only her family were able to touch her, only the Queen could kiss her flesh. Arrog was told that as a nephew he was permitted a rare honor of taking her hand. When this had _really_ happened, he had been nothing but proud. So proud he had not even told his parents, wanting them to see their son preforming such a high honor. It was if he was elevated to a prince status himself! But in the dream he held back. He didn't want to touch her, he didn't want to look at his aunt's hand. He was always so timid, since his aunt had died. Mostly because of mother, since her sister's death she had become cold and bitter, never wanting to spend any time with him, preferring to only see to his father. They had loved each other before, but after his aunt died mother almost seemed protective of him. Almost worried that her own son was just another obstacle between them. It all started to get confusing when he looked at that hand, ever since preforming that high honor of touching the princesses hand he'd tried to push everything down in his mind. He didn't want to see it. He didn't want to _know_

  
  


Luke crept closer, still unseen in the dream world, wondering who was in the ridiculously small coffin. He faintly remembered his mother- who was high up in society and a terrible gossip- talking about dead Pixtopian royalty. He looked back and forth between the woman in the coffin and Arrog, spotting a couple of similarities, and smiled faintly. If they were relatives- if the memories Luke could barely feel in the others mind were true- this was quite the weapon. There was nothing more powerful than using family against each other- taking a bond and twisting it to something unrecognizable. And if Arrog had really loved whoever this woman was, then Luke had a clear way into his head, which was something he _needed_ for what he had in mind.

  
  


Arrog sense someone watching him. He could feel someone tugging at his dreams. It wasn't so much a gift, but he already was on high alert. Nightmares were so rare for him, he always was able to push that scar down. Force himself to forget. He forced himself to forget his observer too, out of habit. Luke would find repressive abilities he'd never faced before in Arrog. "Just forget" he mumbled, "Everything is _fine_ "

  
  


Luke couldn't stand just being a spectator anymore. He snorted, oddly amused and irritated at the same time by this person, who seemed like nothing and yet he had everything Luke wanted. "Everything is _fine_?" He said, mimicking Arrog's tone as he stepped forwards. "I think you're going to find that that's not the case here."

  
  


Arrog didn't even hear him, couldn't even be taunted. But Luke would feel its effect. His mind twisted with the words, without noticing them they couldn't be combated by rational thought. His mind took the words in as fact with little to no resistance. In his defense against acknowledging bad memories, Arrog had unknowingly given Luke a direct hotline to his subconscious "Fine, fine, fine..." Arrog repeated like a mantra.

  
  


Luke sat down next to him, looking at Arrog curiously. "Why do you keep repeating something when it's a lie? It's not fine. You aren't fine. It's not like that's any secret- look at how you _act_ , all nice and sweet. But you've hurt people before, haven't you? What's to stop you from hurting them again? They _trust_ you." He pointed out, watching his face carefully. "But whatever, go ahead and lie to yourself. Just don't be shocked when something like this..." He paused, gesturing to the chapel and all he thought Arrog would link it to. "Happens again."

  
  


Although Arrog couldn't hear, he believed every word instantly. Everything was his fault. He didn't know why, he _couldn't_ know why, but it was. He had seen the signs, he had known them to be true. He always saw everything happening weeks in advance but always did _nothing_. "I'm like a bottom feeder..." he mumbled, "I know whats happening, but do nothing. Its like...its like I'm _waiting_ for it to play itself out so I can..." in the end, he had gotten what he wanted. That was what always made it worse. He said nothing, and usually the end result was him getting what he wanted. If he benefited from such tragedy, he _must_ be responsible...

  
  


"That's provably what you're doing." Luke agreed calmly, looking out at the chapel. "Its pretty damn manipulative, just _watching_. Its clever, but have you ever gotten involved? Apart from the time you killed me?"

  
  


Arrog closed his eyes. "I didn't..I didn't have _time!_ by the time I noticed...what could I have done?" he held his arms, rubbing his shoulders, "It was just a coincidence! Auntie must have gotten the same burn as mother when _she_ drank the soup! Just because there's a scar on her hand too doesn't mean..." he thought about how cold mother had become. How she never let Arrog get too close. How she always kept that hand out of his line of sight...

  
  


"You're lying to yourself again." Luke said, raising an eyebrow. "You seem to do that a lot."

 

Arrog flinched, though he didn't know why. "Make it go away..." he begged, "Anything... _anything_ please...just..."

"Jace..." he sobbed, "I'm such a coward...I'm so sorry Jace..."

  
  


Luke stiffened at the mention of Jace, scowling. "What makes you think Jace will forgive you?" He demanded. "And what will you do when you end up hurting her?"

  
  


Arrog drooped. He knew how much capacity he had to hurt. He heard the whispers in his mind whenever mother- or whoever it was that _pretended_ to be his mother, would yell at him. He always knew that that darkness was there, completely within his reasoning. That if something truly horrible did happen, he might not do anything about it. He _hadn't_ done anything about it. "She deserves...better..."

  
  


"Maybe she does." Luke said neutrally. "Maybe she deserves worse. You can't trust her, you know."

  
  


Resistance. The first nudge of resistance. "That's..not right..." he thought, opening his eyes again. He wasn't in the chapel anymore. Now he was small, in a waiting chamber outside a royal function. He felt the rubix cube in his hands, felt his muscles twitch when he noticed the pattern. The girl across from him looked at him like a super hero, or a _real_ royal like she was. "Its just an algorithm," he had explained, "Nothing special..." but she couldn't understand it, she looked at him like he was everything. Her, who was so much more important and powerful then he could ever be. Just a lowly half-prince, the son of a runaway princess and a human anthropologist. She thought he was so special, when _she_ was the one who was... "Princess..." he murmured, he could only ever say her title to her face. It was more then respect, more then idealization. Even if she had been as common as dirt she'd still be a princess. She deserved all the dimensions and _more_.

  
  


Luke watched the scenery change, a bit startled. In working his way into Arrog's mind, he had let his control on the dream slip. He debated getting it back, decided that would be too time-consuming. "Can you say that? _Really_ , and know beyond a shadow of a doubt its true? Remember, she ended up getting someone she supposedly loved killed on purpose."

  
  


Arrog shook his head. "That was my fault, Princess Jace would _never_ ..." he realized that he was speaking allowed to someone, and that someone was responding. Arrog's conscience flinched. He knew Luke was here.

  
  


"It took you long enough." Luke said lightly when he finally realized. "And here's the thing- you don't _know_ what Jace will do. Hell, she said she loved me and now she's claiming she hates my guts. Which ones the lie? How long before she lies to you?"

  
  


Arrog could hear the voice now, he could distinguish it as different from his own. Still, the dream's haze had a tight hold on him. "I..." he could just faintly see Luke's outline, remember how he had looked, all twisted and broken. "I'm so sorry Luke." He felt like a traitor the moment the words left his mouth. He could feel himself recoiling, feel the hatred for Luke burning in his chest, but this was something he had to say. "It's my fault you're dead. If I could have just focused a little longer..." Luke would be in jail. Demon jail? Was that a thing? He could have been sent to some kind of institution. He could have talked to someone- a _professional_ , he could have been made better. But just like always, Arrog had a chance to help and he did _nothing._ "You don't have to forgive me, heck, _I_ wouldn't," he squinted, trying to make out the boy's outline. It was faint, but the dream parted the ways for him to see, "I don't know how this stuff works...but I don't think you were a bad person. I don't think there _are_ bad people." Arrog swallowed, just saying those words stung. "If it was between you or the Princess, I'd...I'd..." he bunched his fists, "I'd kill you a _thousand_ times! But she...she wouldn't want that. No one would want that..." that was a lie, Princess Estella certainly wanted that, "...you were just a kid...you should have been treated as such...and I stopped that from happening. I'm sorry."

  
  


"Please stop with all the touchy-feel stuff." Luke said, exasperated. "You pretty much did me a favor when you killed me- I doubt you know what they do to people who hurt the royal family in Hell. I avoided a much worse punishment. Dying made me more powerful- I talk to Jace every night, try to get her back.... I usually end up snapping, but she can't tell anyone. No one has a clue." He paused, tilting his head. "Though being dead does suck most of the time, I gotta say."

  
  


Arrog's blood went cold at his words. He was... _snapping_ at Jace? Arrog swallowed rapidly, wondering if this was all a mind game- then realized of _course_ it was. Luke could probably tell how much his words boiled Arrog's blood. That's why he said them. It was just another tactic he used. Just another way to control people. Was this how he had gotten ahold of Jace? Or did he have different tactics for boys then girls? Either way, there was no point lying. Luke would just believe what he wanted to anyway, what was the point? "I...I can imagine..." he finally said, "I um..." he swallowed again, cursing that he managed to even be awkward in his own mind, "Do you want to talk about it?"

  
  


"I'd rather not talk about being dead to the person who killed me." He said, grinning when he realized he was getting to Arrog. "You know, I think Jace really trusts you. She'd probably tell you if you asked about me- _if_ she thought you'd believe her. You could always ask Estella what Jace did to herself on Mewni if you don't think I'm telling the truth. Or you can ask me and I'll tell you what she did. I'm in her head a lot, I know almost everything she thinks."

 

Arrog's brow twitched. He was fucking with his head again. "There are ways to banish you," he said, "You've been tyraiding through the dreamlands, but the magic has existed for centuries. There have been rules in place for longer then you're entire _species_ has existed. There are ways to protect the Princess." for once in his life, he steeled himself against his fear. "As long as you're here with me, you aren't with her. As long as I don't dream about her, you cant hop between." With a deep breath he prepared for what he was about to say. "So I don't think I'm going to wake up for a while."

Arrog closed his eyes, and let the words ring through his mind. _Dormi_ , the spell of sleep. He wouldn't wake up until another royal pixie preformed a counter curse.

  
  


"Do you really think some pixie spell is going to work? You can't protect her- she's already a nervous wreck." Luke said with a laugh. "In fact, her family probably thinks she's losing it right now. She hasn't slept right in days and- as far as her family knows, at least- she just tried to hurt herself using Janna's dagger. Plus, you've forgotten something- I can make you dream about her if I want. All you've done is ensure you _can't_ protect her when the time comes. And believe me, it's coming fast. She's going to choose to be with me because I won't give her a chance to choose otherwise."

 

Arrog shook his head. "I don't think you understand what enchanted sleep _is_ ." Slowly the room around them would fade away. "there's no time, no sentience, nothing. You sleep until you wake, with no awareness." Luke would feel the edges of his mind start to get lost in the abyss. "You're just a bad dream. An _infectious_ one, but if you can cut off the source of infection...it doesn't spread."

"You're feeding off me like a parasite. If I shut down, you go with me."

  
  


Luke closed his eyes, searching Dreamland- he knew Jace was there somewhere, and- _fuck_ , this was a lucky occurrence. He looked Arrog in the eye and grinned. "You said I can't go to Jace if you don't dream about her, but a door goes both ways- she's dreaming about _you_ right now." He began to disappear, to pick out the threads of the dream world that would take him straight to Jace. "So, really, thanks for that bit of information, because you've officially doomed yourself."

 

Arrog's eyes widened, but his mind was already being sucked into the darkness.

 

"Wh-" Luke was the last thing keeping him conscious. The demon struggling to stay in existence was the only thing keeping him from blacking out. Arrog's final thought before slipping into the darkness was that of despair. He had doomed her. _again._

 


	6. Chapter 6

For once I was having an honest-to-goodness dream. It _seemed_ like Luke had decided to leave me alone for the night, which I was grateful for. I didn't know how long it had been since I had had a decent night's sleep.

 

In the dream, Arrog and I were working in a darkroom, developing pictures. I couldn't see what they were, but somehow I was sure they were happy scenes of my family, and a couple pictures Mom had taken of Arrog and I- I was joking in the dream about how I hoped our heads would still be in the photos.

 

In the dream world, it was so simple to say things. Which might have been why, as I pinned a developing photo to the clothesline, that I said it.

 

“ I love you, you know that?”

 

A slight chuckle that seemed _off_ for Arrog, even in my dreams, and the tugging feeling in my stomach were all the warning I had.

 

When I turned around Luke was there, forming where Arrog had stood, and the usual fogginess of dreaming was gone from me.

 

“I know you do.” He said, stepping forwards to catch my hand. For a moment I'm caught between anger and fear, wondering if it's worth it to make him angry too.

 

“I wasn't talking to you.” I say quietly.

 

“I know.” Luke says, a sort of calm in his voice that feels like a warning to me. “But I don't have to worry anymore- the person you _were_ talking to is taken care of.”

 

Rage wells up in me- sudden and overwhelming, and I'm ripping my hand away from Luke's. When he grabs me by the arm, slapping me across the face, I'm too _angry_ to be scared of him.

 

“ _What did you do to Arrog!?”_

 

I can hardly recognize my voice- it sounds like me and not. There's an under-running current of growls beneath it, and Arrog's name ends in a snarl.

 

“More like what that idiot did to himself.” Luke says, rolling his eyes. “He tried to protect you, I'll give him credit for that, but all he did was ensure that he's out of the way.”

 

Worry for Arrog catches in my throat and pushes away the rage.

 

“What did he do?” I ask, and my voice is quiet this time, oddly small.

 

“Used a sleep spell.” Luke says casually. “One that apparently sort of replicates a coma, according to him. Only another Pixtopian royal can break it, I believe. He was trying to trap me so you would be safe.”

 

Panic races through my mind, as well as one thought, repeating itself over and over again.

 

_This is my fault._

 

I don't realize I've said it aloud until Luke nods wisely, reaching forwards to cup my face with one hand. I force myself not to pull away, looking up at him.

 

“It is your fault.” He says, and even if it's some manipulation on his part, I can feel the truth of it deep down in my soul. “And you know what?”

 

His voice goes even softer and gains a sort of tone like he's memorized it, giving his next words a feeling of an eerie lullaby.

 

“It's going to keep happening until you agree to be with me. You know that, right?”

 

A shudder goes through me as I close my eyes, imagine what it will be like. Remembering the constant fear and the pain and the way my own mind twisted in upon itself until I could barely recognize it.

 

But what's the alternative? Images, surely of Luke's creation, flash through my mind.

 

Nico at the bottom of the stairs, his neck at an odd and unnatural angle. Mom, unrecognizable. Annie, so still the way she never is in life. Milo, sprawled out like it's a play gone wrong. _Estella..._

 

“I'm going to leave the Underworld.” I say, tilting my chin to look up at him. “I can't stay here for that. I'll leave the Underworld, and then...” I trail off, leaving the sentence open. He knows what I'm offering.

 

He leans down to kiss me, and I don't pull away.

 

When I wake up, I feel barely even real. This can't possibly be happening. My heart feels like it's _gone_ , and thats a good thing, because I don't know how badly this is going to mess up my family, and I don't like to imagine it.

 

I run downstairs and pin a note to the coffeemaker, where I'm sure someone will see it.

 

_I'm so sorry, guys. I have to leave. It's the only way to protect you. I love you all._

 

I hate to be so vague, but if I want to keep them safe, I have to. I can't tell them what's happening to me.

 

I work quickly, loading tank tops and t-shirts and jeans into my suitcase, pulling out a journal and nestling it down inside quickly. Next goes shoes, and hair ties, and a jacket-

  
“Jace?”

 

It's Nico. He's leaning against my doorframe, paler than I've seen him since his time in the Other World. His face is a mixture of pain and fear, one hand splayed across his ribs.

 

Out of anyone to catch me fleeing the house, I wouldn't have wanted it to be Nico. Nico's still fragile from the lies he was fed. I didn't want to hurt him like this.

 

“I have to do this, Nico.” I say lightly. His reply is strong and only a little uncertain, taking me by surprise.

 

“I know.” He says sadly. “I know it was Luke in my head, Jace. If you need to run to protect us or whatever, thats fine, but...”

  
He inhales, looking up at me.

 

“Protect yourself too.” He tells me. “I saw the way you were after him, and I don't want you to ever feel like that again.”

 

I try and summon up a smile, but Nico flings himself into my arms with a strangled sob and suddenly I'm crying.

 

“I love you so, _so_ much.” I tell him, because I _need_ him to know, to remember me saying this to him.

 

“I love you too.” He says quietly.

 

Feeling a sudden burst of inspiration, I pull him back to look at him.

 

“Do you have a journal?”

 

“Yeah, its in my room. I barely ever use it, though.”

 

“Go get it.” I tell him.

 

A few moments later he's back and I'm waving my hand over the journal lightly, whispering a spell I researched a few months ago. I can tell it works because for a moment the normally red spirals lighting up my skin glow blue.

 

“What did you do?” Nico asks, tilting their head. I pass him the journal and open my own, writing down simply _hello._ A moment later, the word appears in Nico's book and his face lights up.

 

“Got the idea from Stel's journal.” I tell him as I zip my suitcase closed. “Now we'll be able to talk no matter what.”

 

I toss my phone on the bed and pull out the dimensional scissors, steeling my shoulders. I hear Nico's voice crack and I know he's trying to be strong for me, which is good, because I feel like I might break.

 

“Don't be surprised if I get bored and send you the bee movie script.” He tells me, and I'm laughing now. Then, more serious as I slide my scissors up and open a portal, “Come back safe when you can, okay?”

 

“Okay.” I tell him, turning back once to memorize the way my room looks. I want to remember my home, my family, everything the way it was before things fell apart.

 

Then I step through, and the softer heat of a Californian night wraps around me. I'm sure I look like a mess straight from someone's nightmares with my bushy hair tangled around my horns, faint bruises on my arms and dark shadows under my eyes.

 

I see a dim light glowing in one of the windows of the house I approach and I pray she's awake, knocking on the door as loud as I can without waking her neighbors.

 

The light in the next room goes dark and a minute later the door slips open.

 

“ _Jace?”_

 

I tilt my head up and smile at her, trying to act as though this was an impulse visit.

 

“Hey, Mama J.” I say, my old nickname for Jackie slipping over my tongue easy. She's more like an aunt, but she was my biological mother and she loves me just as much as my family does. It's safe with her. “Do you think I can stay for a while?”

 


	7. Chapter 7

“I'm sorry to be here this early.” I tell her as she steps back, letting me in. “I'm glad you're up, though. I was worried I would wake you.”

 

“No, you didn't wake me.” Jackie says easily, following me. “But you might want to keep your voice down- I just got her to sleep.”

 

She gestures to a nursery door that's propped open just a little, and I can't help but turn to her, surprised.

 

“I have a little sister?”

 

Jackie nods, directing me into the kitchen silently and closing that door before she speaks. “Her name is Janna Lee. She's four years old.”

 

“Does that mean she has a father?” I ask, wondering what else has been going on in the years we've been out of touch.

 

Jackie shakes her head, smiling.

 

“No- I did artificial insemination.” She tells me. “Oskar Greason-”

 

“I know him!” I say, interrupting on accident and then blushing, the spirals turning pink. “Sorry. He's Milo's boyfriend's Dad.”

 

“Yeah, well, he offered to be the donor.” She said, smiling. “Janna Lee looks more like me than she does him, but her eyes are kind of his color.”

 

“That's great.” I say sincerely. “I bet you're an amazing mom.”

 

For a moment something awkward hangs in the air between us- almost eighteen years ago, Jackie found out she was pregnant with me.

 

Almost eighteen years ago she decided she wasn't ready to be a mom. She asked my mom, Marco, if she wanted another child, and my mom agreed. Mom went with Jackie to all of the ultrasounds, so she knew I was only part human from the beginning.

 

I don't mind that Jackie gave me up- I've led a pretty good life, after all. I'm a princess, I have a big family, fell in love with a good person- all of which I wouldn't have had if Jackie had decided to raise me.

 

All of which I've given up.

 

“I try.” She said after a moment, nodding at the pocket of my suitcase. It was glowing, a faint shade of green. “What's going on there?”

 

I grab the journal out of it's pocket.

 

“It's sort of an easy way to get ahold of Nico.” I tell her, and she nods. I flip it open to see the diary entry.

 

**Jace!**

**Mom and Dad found the note you pinned to the coffeemaker. All is not well here. Milo is freaking out. Stel's outside- she claims she's waiting for takeout, but I have no idea if that's the truth. You know her. Annie's upset- she wants to track you down immediately. Mom's losing her  shit, wanting to know what on Earth you're protecting us from- I think she cried too. She's at the counter now, trying to make breakfast. **

** I found out I'm a horrible actor, too. I tried to be upset and failed so now I'm just spouting memes and hoping they think I'm bottling my emotions.  **

 

My heart stings when I read about how my family is doing, but I remind myself it's for the best. Who knows what Luke would be doing to them if I were still there?

 

Which reminds me....

 

“Jackie, Mom and Dad can't know I'm here.”

 

I see confusion flicker across her face, then concern.

 

“Why?”

 

I know I can't say it's for no reason- no sane adult would buy that. Instead I shrug lightly, looking down at the counter.

 

“I'm working through some really confusing things. If Mom and Dad know where I am they'll want me

to come home, which I can't do just yet.”

 

There's a pause, the slightest hesitation, before Jackie nods.

 

“I understand.” She says, smiling. “I've been there before.”

 

“Thank you.” I tell her. “You have _no_ idea just how much this means to me.”

 

Jackie nods, glances at the clock. It's five thirty in the morning.

 

“Do you mind if I go try and catch another hour or two's worth of sleep?” She asks, smiling. “If Janna Lee wakes up, just give her some orange juice and turn on _The Little Mermaid._ Oh, and help yourself to anything you want. _”_

 

“Sleep well.” I tell her with a smile.

 

“Thanks.” She says, and leaves.

 

Once she's in her room, I bury my face in my hands and finally let myself cry.

* * *

 

Jackie is right, it's not long before Janna Lee wakes up. She toddles out of the room and rubs her eyes while I get a good look at her.

 

Her hair isn't white like Jackie's- its slightly darker, almost a blonde color. The odd blue streak that's somehow hereditary is there too, a little darker than Jackie's. And her eyes are almost the same color as Oskar Greason's.

 

Finally Janna Lee looks at me and tilts her head. I kneel down in front of her, because kids like eye contact sometimes, and it looks like Janna Lee is one of those kids. I offer her an orange juice box, and she takes it and keeps looking at me.

 

“Who're you?” She asks after a solid twenty seconds of staring. “And where's Mommy?”

 

“My name is Jace. I'm... I'm your big sister.” I answer, smiling. “And your Mommy just needs a little more sleep, so let's watch a movie, okay?”

 

Janna Lee nods, so I sit down on the couch and Janna Lee stumbles over, sets her juice box in my lap, climbs up on the couch and then takes it back.

 

I start up the Little Mermaid for her and stretch out on the couch. Janna Lee snuggles in next to me. I try to keep my eyes open and watch the movie, but it's been such a long night and I'm _tired._

 

Before I know it my eyes are drifting shut again and I have that odd tugging feeling in my stomach, so I follow it. My nights belong to Luke now.

 

We're back in his bedroom in the Dream world, and this time Luke is oddly gentle. I can't help but wonder if he's being considerate, if he knows how hard this is on me, but then I shake my head.

Just because he has a nice moment it won't change who he is.

 

We talk for a long time, Luke whispering, me keeping my eyes away from him. I have to get used to this again. This is my life now.

 

Luke tells me he loves me, but I don't say it back because I feel acid rising in my throat and tears welling in my eyes. Those words are still too dangerous.

 

I end up with a bad bruise on the back of my neck and a pounding headache for not saying it, and then something strange happens.

 

I can hear Jackie saying “Jace, wake up”, and shaking my shoulder. I can even feel it, but I can't open my eyes. I can't sit up. I'm half in the real world, but most of me is rooted in Dreamland, with Luke's hand like a vice around my arm, swallowing back metallic fear and words that threaten to burst out of me.

 

“Jace,” Jackie whispers, hand on my shoulder.

 

“Jace.” Luke says, his fingers tightening, and I look up at him. “I'll see you tonight.”

 

“See you tonight.” I confirm.

 

He smiles, and then Dreamland falls to pieces, and my eyes open.

 


	8. Chapter 8

I have to fight hard to stay awake this time. My brain feels clouded in fog, my limbs are weak. It takes me ages to work to a sitting position and another minute to be able to look up at Jackie. My biological mother's eyes are wide with concern, and I realize she must have said my name a few more times without my noticing.

 

“Sorry.” I tell her, though I'm yawning badly and might sound unintelligible. I force myself to stop, try again.

 

“I'm sorry, I don't know what came over me.” I tell her. “I've been so drained lately, it's crazy.”

 

“That's okay.” Jackie says, working hard to keep her voice light. “You just gave me a bit of a scare, that's all. Do you want breakfast?”

 

I pause to consider it, then nod.

 

“Breakfast would be wonderful, thank you.”

 

Jackie nods and crosses to the fridge, pulling open the door and taking out a carton of eggs. She rummages for a bit before coming out with a pack of sausages. I can tell she's fighting some internal struggle with herself, wanting to say something.

 

After a while, she seems to lose the battle because she speaks again.

 

“I heard a little bit about an old boyfriend last year...” She said, her voice a little hesitant. “Jace, does your trip to visit me have something to do with him?”

 

I hesitated, wondering just how much I could tell her, when I heard Luke's voice in the back of my head.

 

_If you tell her a word about what's going on now, I **will** make sure you regret it. _

 

I swallow and grab a glass of milk, taking my time with figuring out my answer. Luke's threat bounces around my head, digs itself into my mind like a shard of ice.

 

“It sort of does.” I say slowly. “Luke has been dead for just over eight months, you know.”

 

“Luke was his name?” Jackie asks. She's busying herself with cracking eggs into the pan, but I feel as though I have her full attention. I realize I don't know exactly how much she was told about Luke and his powers, so I swallow my milk, preparing myself. I need to be believable, which means I need to tell her what happened to Luke.

 

Even though I'm sure I don't love him anymore, thinking about what happened to him sends a sharp spike of pain through me.

 

“I met Luke just over a year ago, on Homecoming night.” I tell Jackie. “God, he was so beautiful when you didn't know what he was like, you had no idea. He had black hair that was super thick and so curly, and he had to pull it back into a ponytail most of the time. His skin was a little darker than mine, and he had _green_ eyes- it was like staring at a forest and all the shades of green that are there, you know.”

 

“I was in my cheerleader uniform on the way to a party. We only talked for a minute or two, but he ended up meeting my friend Nikki's boyfriend at the time to give him something, and they met at the same party I was at.” I told her. “Luke and I hooked up- it didn't go very far at all, I promise-” I added, seeing the look on Jackie's face.

 

“How far did it go?” She asked. I looked down at my hands, frowning slightly.

 

“He had unhooked my bra, but then I got a look at the clock and my curfew was in a minute, so I went inside before it went further. That was the furthest it ever got, too.” I added before she could ask.

 The lie tastes bitter on my tongue, but I force it out anyways. That was the furthest I had  _wanted_ it to go.

“Okay...” She said slowly, flipping the eggs in the pan. “What was he like?”

 

“At first?” I asked, and she nodded. “It was like a dream- I saw him every day, we could talk about anything and everything, and I was so sure-” my voice cracks, but I manage to force the words out. “I was so sure I was in love with him. Then, in December, I made this really casual comment- I told him not to act like a baby because he was upset I had missed something we planned, and he punched me in the face.”

 

I swallow again, remembering the pain and the shock that went with that night, the way I had tried to convince myself after that he wouldn't do it again.

 

“He waited another two weeks before he hurt me again, and I thought things had gone back to normal. But then I was giving Arrog- I dated him for a while after Luke- I was giving Arrog a Christmas present, and Luke saw us.” I inhaled slowly, my fingers shaking. “He didn't react well to that at all. He ended up beating me up in the car- I nearly fainted at one point- and then he accused me of cheating on him.”

 

Jackie slides the eggs out of the pan, still paying attention to me. She cuts open the sausages and I think she's working hard to keep her hands steady.

 

“And after that?” She asked.

 

“We were together for almost another three months after that.” I told her. “And he hurt me, somehow, every day. I couldn't do anything right anymore, he told me I was worthless- he'd say I was nothing and that he was the only one who would ever love me. I ended up such a _mess,_ Jackie. I already have sensory issues, but I remember I started crying once when a servant yelled to another servant. And I wore long sleeves and jeans all the time, and I barely talked to my family. I couldn't talk to anyone _really,_ because Luke would think I was either talking bad about him or flirting with someone else.”

 

“How did you guys get rid of him?” Jackie says.

 

“Estella found out about what he'd been doing to me.” I told her. “She came home on the twenty-first of February, and that happened to be the day the Blood Moon Ball was last year. Luke was hurting me in the yard while the ball was happening- he broke my arm and he gave me a concussion-”

 

Its getting hard to speak, and I'm exhausted again. I feel like Dreamland is sapping my energy someway, or maybe Luke is. He must not be pleased, hearing me tell Jackie about how horrible he was.

 

“And then Dad and Mom were attacking him, and my siblings were pulling me away from him. Stel and Milo were hanging on to me. Annie was trying to help Mom fight Luke, and Nico was with Star. Arrog was there, I think Stel might have accidentally brought him for some reason-”

 

Tears are filling my eyes up. Jackie's got the sausages out of the pan and is staring at me, giving me her full attention.

 

“And I started _screaming_ because I loved Luke at the time, I didn't want him to die, and he had me so damn convinced he was the person who loved me more than anymore.” I said, my voice growing quieter. “Arrog used pixie dust and lifted him in the air so that Dad wouldn't kill him, but Luke possessed me. He made me take one of the guard's daggers and try to slit my throat with it. I screamed, and Arrog lost control and dropped Luke- and then he broke his neck.” I finished, half-aware that I was crying now. “I still have nightmares about it.”

 

“And is that why you came here?” Jackie asks, sliding me a plate. I dig into the food, knowing I have to eat, and then I'll probably have to sleep and deal with Luke's anger.

 

“Partially.” I say, because its the only way to be honest.

 

She nods to the bruises on my wrist and arms- bruises Luke left that I hadn't bothered to conceal, and suddenly the weight of that stupidity drops on me.

 

“I know how ghosts work, Jace.” She tells me. “Is he haunting you?”

 

“No!” I say quickly, hearing the panic in my own voice, and then I force it to level out. “No, he's not haunting me. I'm just a bit clumsy, that's all.”

 

I see the doubt in Jackie's eyes, see her glance to her smartphone.

 

 _Use a spell._ Luke's voice whispers in my head. _Make her believe you._

 

I don't want to use magic on my bio- mom, but I don't want to see her end up dead because I was an idiot. A hasty whisper later, her eyes look slightly glazed over with the suggestion. I watch her, my fingers crossed, hoping it will be enough to make her believe me.

 

“Well, you just need to be more careful then, alright?” She asks me, and I nod, smiling in relief.

 

“I will, I promise.” I tell her.

 

“Good.” She says, taking the empty plate away and setting it in the sink. “I have to get Janna Lee to daycare and I have to go to work. Feel free to take the guest room if you need to, you look exhausted.”

 

“I think I will take the guest room, I need another nap.” I tell Jackie, who smiles and gives me a quick kiss on the cheek as I stand up.

 

“See you this afternoon. We can do something fun together.”

 

“That works for me.” I tell her, smiling back. When I go to the guest room, the bed is so thankfully soft. I peel off my shirt so I'm just in a sports bra and jeans and crawl under the covers, asleep almost immediately afterwards.

 

I recognize that I'm in Dreamland, in my family's house this time. Luke hasn't appeared yet, so I merely wander in the direction of my bedroom and push open the door, knowing that's likely where he'll be.

 

Instead of Luke's voice greeting me, however, I hear a different and unexpected voice.

 

“Jace, where did you run away to?” She demands, leaping to her feet and grabbing my hands, squeezing tight. I feel a numb shot of panic when it sinks in.

 

Estella looks at me, sees the bruises on my skin and I watch as her expression grows dark.

 

“What's going on?” She demands.

 


	9. Chapter 9

“Stel, you have to leave, right now.” I tell her.

 

My sister shakes her head stubbornly, staring at me. “Whats going on? Why are you bruised up? And what the _hell_ do you have to protect us from?”

 

“I can't explain it, Stel.” The words sound hollow and empty, but they're the only words I can say. “All I can tell you is that if you don't leave, _right now,_ I'm going to get hurt worse, and then one of you might get hurt to punish m-”

 

I've said too much. Stel's eyes, all three of them, narrow.

 

“Punish you?” She asks, her voice low. “Jace, please don't tell me you're in another abusive relationship.”

 

I shake my head, knowing she's going to put two and two together. This is too dangerous.

 

“Not another one.” I say quietly.

 

And then his voice echoes out of the mists and fog.

 

“Jace, where are you?”

 

“It's _that_ f-”

 

I clamp my hand over Stel's mouth and close my eyes, willing the scene to change. When I open them again, we're in a food court.

 

“It'll take him a minute to figure out where we are, but you need to leave.”

 

“Jace, I'm not going to leave you with _him.”_ Stel says, practically spitting the word 'him' like its a curse.

 

“You have to!” I tell her, trying not to lose it. “Don't you understand? Stel, he's so powerful. Why do you think I cut my arm with the dagger in Mewni? Why do you think Nico fell down the stairs and broke their ribs? Why do you think Arrog-” My voice breaks for a minute and I swallow, wiping my eyes before continuing. “Why do you think Arrog, the boy I _love,_ is in a coma right now?”

 

And I know it's true. I love Arrog without a doubt. And now I might never be able to tell him, and at the moment, this is my biggest regret above everything else.

 

“We can fix it.” Stel says, and I can see her working to stay calm, to be persuasive. “We can trap Luke, and wake Arrog up, and you can come _home.”_

 

For a moment I'm seriously tempted. Nothing sounds better right now than coming home, being with my family, having them help me figure out Luke.

 

But if I go back and we _don't_ figure out how to get rid of Luke, then they'll all be in more danger.

 

Stel leans forward and wipes something off of my face, frowning. I didn't realize I was crying until right then.

 

“I want to do nothing more than come home.” I tell her, stepping forwards to hug her tightly. “But, Luke nearly killed Nico. Arrog is in a coma now because of me. This is something I need to figure out on my own, and then I'll come back.”

 

“But-”

 

I cut her off. This is hard enough already, and I can feel my resolve crumbling.

“This is something you _need_ to let me figure out. I don't want to come home and trust that everything will be okay, only to have something happen. Nico's really vulnerable and easy to possess. What if, next time, he falls off the castle roof? What if he breaks his neck? I'd never be able to forgive myself for causing someone's death. I _promise,_ if I can stop Luke, I'll come home.”

 

I can feel Luke picking his way through the threads of Dreamland, trying to find me, but I can't let him find Estella.

 

“I have to go now.” I tell her. I can feel the fog of Dreamland working to keep me here, keep me pinned, but I push my way through it, until I'm awake.

 

Even then, it's hard to open my eyes, and I can hear words of Estella's echoing around my head.

 

“ _We're going to save you. We can't just let you go.”_

 

Everything feels dreamlike still, has a vaguely fuzzy quality to it. I know I should be worried about this seemingly endless lethargy, but I just don't have it in me to be worried.

 

I'm still not worried, in fact, when I stand up without meaning to. My limbs are suddenly weightless, moving without my control but with a sense of purpose.

 

It's only when my hands open the door to the guest room that I begin to worry about what's going on, and I can feel a bit of fear creeping into my veins as the unseen force guides me to the kitchen.

 

_It's Luke._ My mind finally begins to churn out thought again, and this is suddenly so obvious. Of course it's Luke, Luke has always jerked me around like I was just some sort of puppet.

 

I wonder if I should fight back when he's suddenly using my voice, talking to me.

 

“Things will just be worse for you if you fight back.” He says in my soft voice, an unusually harsh edge to it this time. “I'll hurt Jackie if you do. Or that little kid walking around earlier- she's such a sweet kid, only four, right? You wouldn't want anything to happen to her.”

 

_I won't fight back._ I think desperately.  _Please don't hurt Janna Lee. I'll do anything._

 

“Oh, I know you will.” Luke says in my voice, sending shivers down my spine. “Be that as it may, you didn't stay. You ran away instead of talking to me.”

 

He uses my hands to pick up an incredibly sharp knife, and I'm struggling to stay calm. Again I flash back to the night he died, to the dagger pressed to my throat.

 

“Don't worry, I won't kill you.” My voice says, sounding sweet. “At least, not yet. But I have to do this, Jace. You're making me. So just remember that.”

 

And then the tip of the knife is digging itself into my wrist and with the pain comes sense again, I can use my voice again and I'm _screaming,_ but unable to do anything. I remain frozen till my hand drops the knife and my actions are mine again.

 

On my wrist is a small, crooked heart.

 

_Because I love you._ Whispers Luke's voice in the back of my mind. I cross to the sink, turn on the cold water and stick my wrist under. Let the water carry away the blood. 

 

It feels like I'm swallowing poison, but I force myself to say it.

 

“I love you too.” I say to seemingly no one, empty air, but I can sort of sense Luke's feelings; he's pleased by this. His presence slowly fades until I can sense I'm alone again.

 

Then I wave my hand over my arm and whisper a spell, watching as the skin knits together instantly- healing magic has always been my specialty.

 

Just then the door opens and Janna Lee races in, holding on tight to an old teddy bear.

 

“Jace, Jace, Jace, Jace!” She says quickly and excitedly, running up to me. “Mama says-” she pauses and frowns, walking back over to the door. “Mama, what did you say?” She yells.

 

“Ask Jace if Chinese food sounds good!”

 

Janna Lee turns to me and I compose my face, pretending not to have heard Jackie.

 

“Does Chinese food sound good?” Janna Lee asks.

 

I smile down at her, ruffling her blonde hair.

 

“You know, I couldn't think of anything better.”

 


	10. Chapter 10

 

After Chinese food, we went home. It had been nice, talking to Jackie- telling her about Arrog, about what had happened in our family, Nico and Venus, Nico's latest antics. It was hard to believe I had gone for years without talking to my biological mom. She had such a good attitude that it was so  _ easy  _ to talk to her. She was so calm, so unruffled, so  _ steady.  _

 

Several times I had to stop myself before telling her the  _ real  _ reason why I had come to stay with her, but I managed not to. I wasn't going to endanger Jackie and her other daughter. 

 

And then we went home, Jackie yawning and Janna Lee falling asleep in the back seat, and I was nodding off as well, but trying to stay awake. 

 

Going to sleep meant spending time with Luke, and I couldn't stand to see him any more than I had to. I had barely been awake for four hours, and that scared me. I knew something was wrong. 

 

After we went home, Jackie unbuckled Janna Lee and lifted her out of her car seat, perching the four-year old on her hip. 

 

For a moment I wondered what that would be like- to have a daughter. To have someone you knew you would always love no matter what, someone you would protect over anyone else. To scoop up a child and keep them pressed against you, safe, while you carried them inside. And in that moment I was filled with such a fierce  _ longing  _ for that, to be a mom, that I nearly cried. 

And then the moment passed and Mama Jackie was pushing the door open for us, and saying good night. I said it back and Janna Lee woke up long enough to hug her mother and give me a sleepy kiss on the cheek, settling down into her bed.

 

I think I might have fallen asleep before my head hit the pillow, because the next thing I remember I was in Dreamland. 

 

This was a bit odd because Luke hadn't chosen a scene for us. Instead we were surrounded by pale pink and purple clouds, obscuring everything around us.

 

“Your sister is here tonight.” Luke says, his voice sounding tense. “Jace, does she know?”

 

“No.” I say, a shade too quickly, but I keep my voice sounding sincere. “All they know is that I left. They don't know where I'm staying.”

 

“Good.” Luke says, stepping forwards and pulling me into him. I tense up for a moment and then force myself to relax, hating when his hand presses in between my wing marks. 

 

For the kind of demon I am, that's sort of a way of 'claiming' us. Of telling the entire world that you're our boyfriend. And I  _ hate  _ it, hate the way he doesn't even give me a choice. I inhale shakily and look around. For a moment I see a flash of a figure darting off through the clouds, and hope beyond hope that it isn't Stel.

 

I'm relieved when Stel doesn't appear out of the clouds, but Luke squints in the direction that the shadowy figure went, looking suspicious. 

 

“Jace, do you have to stay with your biological mom?” Luke asks, and I blink, trying to work through the thin layer of fog in my mind. 

 

“What do you mean? I don't have anywhere else to go.”

 

And then I realize the answer to my question, just before Luke answers with a question of his own and horror wells up inside me. 

 

“You could stay here.” He says. “With me, in Dreamland. I've already been... tinkering with some spells, and I think I have it figured out.”

 

“You _think?”_ My voice raises in the question and I hope he doesn't sense the rejection I'm going to give him, only the incredulity at what he's phrasing. 

 

“Well... yeah.” He says slowly. “If you agreed to stay, I think it would put you in a sort of coma- you'd be here, but you wouldn't be able to wake up. You wouldn't be able to communicate with the outside world. 

 

_ So that's why he's pushing this.  _

 

“What's your answer?” He says, his tone overly light, but the hand on my shoulder tightens painfully, and I know he's going to be angry.

 

“No.” I tell him, watching as his eyes start to turn black, the pupil expanding. “I don't want to agree to stay and then have something happen where I end up _brain-dead._ That's the worst idea I can even think of.”

 

And suddenly we're in his room, and he's shoving me against the wall  _ hard,  _ one hand on my throat, the other hand pinning one arm against the wall.

 

“Why won't you stay with me, Jace?” He asks, and I close my eyes, trying to work through the fog and the fear and phrase things right. 

 

“Because I don't _want_ to.” Is all I can come up with. 

 

I know Luke is going to keep pushing this.

 

It takes tremendous effort, but slowly I can feel the fabric of Dreamland unraveling. And I can hear my baby sister's voice, feel her small hand shaking my shoulders. 

 

“ _Jaaaace,_ I wanna watch a movie!”

 

Luke whips back towards me and I can see the beginning of a plan forming in his eyes. For a moment panic overwhelms me and I  _ push  _ against Dreamland with my mind, my eyes finally flying open. 

 

Almost immediately they begin to droop again. My arms feel like one-ton weights, and I try to struggle to an upright position, but then I hear  _ him.  _ Only, it's not his voice.

 

It's Janna Lee's sweet high-pitched one.

 

“Are you sure you won't stay with me, Jace?” He asks, talking through her, and I am instantly horrified he would use a _child_ to get to me. I'm forcing away thoughts of what he might do to her, and then he speaks my fears. “Do you know how easy it would be to hurt her?” He says, conversationally. “Just a wrong step on the basement stairs. And then, what would Jackie do? Her oldest daughter in a coma, her youngest dead in a _tragic_ accident... How would she go on?”

 

“Fine.” I snap out, desperation obvious in my voice. “I'll do it, I'll go with you. Just... get away from her. And give me five minutes.”

 

When I hear Janna Lee's voice again, it's confused and scared.

 

“Jace? What happened?”

 

I sit up slowly, pull her into a hug and feel her hug me tightly. She's warm, and I realize after a moment that I'm so cold. I'm  _ freezing _ , and I almost expect my breath to make white clouds when I speak, but it doesn't.

 

“Everything's okay, sweetie. Why don't you go get Mommy? I'll be with you in a few minutes.”

 

Janna Lee looks up at me uncertainly, but after a minute she nods and slides off my lap onto the floor. I reach over to the end table, flip open the blue journal I linked to Nico's.

 

_Nico, Jackie is probably going to get ahold of Mom soon, and the news won't be good. I'm so sorry I didn't manage to stop him, but if this is what I have to do, I can do it. I wish I could tell you this in person, but it looks like I'm not going to talk to anyone awake anymore. If I can, I'll see you in Dreamland. If not... I'm sorry. Please, be strong. Remember I love you, and don't worry about me._

 

Then I lie down and close my eyes, and sleep takes me.

 


	11. Chapter 11

 

**Jace, what does that mean? You can't give in to what he wants! You need to come home- let Dad do an exorcism or something! Please. I don't want to lose one of my siblings.**

 

Nico closed their journal and leaned back against the bedframe, tapping the pen off of their hand as they waited for Jace to reply. It wouldn't be long now- they had only gotten the message a short while ago. Jace always took a while to get to sleep.

 

They closed their eyes again, pushing back the suspicion lurking in their mind. Luke was _powerful._ Nico knew that- their ribs still hurt from falling down the stairs. They had seen Jace nearly slit her throat once because of Luke.

 

On some levels, Luke was worse than _Her._

 

Nico quickly shut down those thoughts, the images of button eyes and cold and their own lonely screaming echoing through their mind.

 

It wasn't good to be alone like this when they were worried, so they slid out of bed. Still unable to wear their binder till the doctors were convinced their ribs were fully healed, they just pulled on an overlarge T-shirt.

 

Nico went to the kitchen, because they knew it was the most likely place for their parents to be, and weren't disappointed.

 

“Hey, Nico!” Tom said, his voice working hard to stay cheerful. “Are you hungry?”

 

_Come on, child, you need to keep your strength up. Or at least not waste away so quickly._

 

Nico shook their head once to clear it, then smiled.

 

“No thanks, I had some junk food in my room.”

 

The lie came too easily this time- so easily in comparison to having to pretend they had been worried about Jace. But with that whisper in the back of their mind, the reminder of cruelty veiled with kindness, they couldn't stand to eat.

 

“Alright.” Said Tom, still keeping his voice light. It turned softer, a little sweeter when he turned to the Queen, who was staring into her coffee cup like it held the secrets of the universe. “Marco?” He asked.

 

Marco shook her head wordlessly, her stare going flat and blank after a moment.

 

“Are you okay?” Tom added, going over to her.

 

Again, Marco shook her head. This time though, it was followed by a slow inhale.

 

“This is like last year all over again.” She said, her voice sounding hollow. “Why did she leave? I'm so worried about Jace, Tom, you know how she is. She _needs_ us, and we aren't there-”

 

Marco's voice broke and she pushed her head into her hands, her shoulders shaking silently. Tom dropped to his knees next to her chair and pulled her into his arms, stroking her hair.

 

“We'll find her, Marco.” He said quietly. “She didn't place any spells to hide her. She's only been gone a few days. The High Commission is looking for her, and Nova's doing her best to find her too.”

 

Marco's arms came around Tom's shoulders, her nails digging into his shirt as she tried to pull herself together.

 

Nico took a step back and turned to leave the room, feeling as though they were intruding on something really private, but it didn't matter.

 

An old song from Love Sentence started playing out of Marco's phone and she snatched it up, answering without looking.

 

“Jackie?” She asked, her voice sounding surprised. “Why are you- Yes, Tom is with me, and Nico too. Okay.”

 

Marco pulled the phone away from her ear, looking at Nico evenly.

 

“I need you to get Milo and Estella for me, Nico. Estella's outside trying a spell and Milo is-”

 

“Right here.” Nico's older brother said lightly, sliding into the room. “I finished my rehearsal of _Macbeth_ and I couldn't sleep.”

 

“I'll be right back. You said Stel was outside?” Nico asked.

 

“Yeah. Annie's under her heat lamp and napping, let's not wake her.” Marco said. “But please hurry. Jackie says she has news that you all need to hear.”

 

Nico nodded and ran- out of the kitchen, down the hall through the throne room, into the entrance hall and out the door.

 

Stel was sitting off to one side of the yard, holding something small. As Nico got closer they could see it was a data crystal from Pixtopia; Nico recognized it as something Arrog had given Jace when they first started dating.

 

Stel looked up sharply when she saw Nico, ready to snap; then she realized it was her younger sibling and deflated.

 

“Jace used this thing all the time, so I thought I could use it in a locator spell, but so far it isn't working.” She explained, stuffing the crystal in her pocket. “How's Mom?”

 

“Not well.” Nico said, frowning. “But she asked me to come and get you. She has news from Jackie Lynn Thomas and we all need to hear.”

 

Stel was on her feet faster than Nico could blink, and Nico had to run after her as they went back in.

 

“Okay, Jackie, they're all here.” Marco said. She paused a moment, then nodded and pressed a button on the phone, setting it down.

 

“You're on speaker.”

 

When Jackie Lynn spoke, it wasn't her normally calm and steady voice. She sounded like she had been crying.

 

“Jace has been staying with me for the past few days-”

 

Tom nearly fell out of his chair, unable to keep silent.

 

“Is she okay? Does she want to talk to us? What ha-”

 

Jackie cut him off, inhaling deeply.

 

“She's in a coma.”

 

The words fell flat, passionless, but when Jackie spoke again her voice was thick with tears.

 

“I can't wake her up. There's a note on her table, but it's not her handwriting. It's all weird and spiky, and its from her ex-boyfriend.”

 

For one moment Nico saw a bewildered expression cross Marco's face, and then Jackie read the note aloud.

 

“ _Jace is with me now. You don't have to worry about her here in Dreamland, but you might want to say your goodbyes. She's not going to wake up anytime soon.”_

 

There was a moment of silence, and then Tom turned and punched one of the chairs, knocking it over. He didn't move after that, his shoulders shaking. Nico moved around the table to steady the chair, and Marco took his hand.

 

“I should have known.” Tom said, and his voice sounded broken in a way Nico had only heard a few times- after Estella left, when Luke broke Jace's arm, that first time after Nico had been rescued when they screamed at the sight of their family.

 

“No one could have known.” Marco said, and her eyes were shining again. Then she turned to the phone.

 

“Thank you, Jackie. We'll be coming over soon to... to pick Jace up. Maybe there's a way we can rescue her.”

 


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter is lowkey kind of crappy and i'm sorry!! i'm having a bit of trouble deciding how I want the story to go.

When I wake up (or manifest? How exactly _do_ spirits get to Dreamland?), Luke is waiting for me. This time, Dreamland is actually in some sort of shape, though something about it seems fragile. Everything is a surreal color.

  
I'm still somewhere in that fog of shock, somewhere accepting that this is now my life. I've jumped back into the nightmare of last year head-first, no turning back now. A part of me is tempted to try and reverse it, to snap myself awake and flee again, try going so far he would never find me.

  
Then I remember Janna Lee's sweet face. The pain shining in Nico's purple eyes. The fact that Arrog threw away his life to try and save mine.

  
I let out a slow breath, steadying myself, and take the hand Luke holds out to me.

  
It feels almost like a mockery of that Homecoming night, cold air blowing in the door, Luke mouthing come on at me. Except tonight there's no hookup in a car outside of the palace, tonight is not my choice. Tonight it's all Luke's choice, and I force myself to remember that.

  
The numb shock begins to wear off, replaced by mingled resignation and fury. I push the fury down quickly, deep in my mind, because I know Luke's got to be rifling through my head right now.

  
“Why are you acting like this?” Luke asks. His grip on my hand is oddly gentle for him, and there's genuine confusion in his voice. 

  
It's reminding me of the days before the hurt began, when I was head over heels in love with Luke and thought he might be the only one in the world who'd never hurt me.

  
I shrug and offer him what I hope is an apologetic smile, and he accepts it, squeezing my hand briefly.

  
“Can't we go back to what we used to be?” He asks, his voice taking on a pleading note. “We were so close.”

  
I can sense that the truth is either going to hurt him or make him angry, but right now I absolutely can't vocalize a lie, and Luke would probably sense one.

  
Instead I concentrate and open my mind up to him, showing every thought, every feeling.

  
_You hurt me, you hurt me so goddamn much and I **hate** you for it, you said you loved me and I **did** love you, I would have done anything for you but you were so dark- and now you've taken my life away, you took Arrog away and I love him, I love him just as much as I used to love you_

  
I open up my mind a little more when I see the shock and hurt in Luke's eyes, and the beginnings of his anger.

  
_You know what's worse, Luke? There's a part of me that **still** loves you despite how awful you are. Some part of me is always going to be sixteen and loving you, sixteen and never understanding what I did wrong, why was I never **enough** for you?_

  
After this outpouring of emotions, I feel oddly... better. It's like there was some part of me that had been infected, and I feel like I took a needle and lanced it.

  
There's sort of a backwash of feeling from Luke. Gratitude for me being honest, anger at how I think of him, shock that I'd actually voice it... and hope?

  
One of his hands moves up to cup my cheek, the other one slides up to hold my wrist, and he presses a kiss to my forehead. 

  
“I can't change who I am, Jace.” He says, and I feel like what he says is the grudging truth- honesty for honesty. “Even if I wanted to, I couldn't change it. It's who I am. What's wrong with that?”

  
His green eyes search mine for a second before darting away, maybe fearing I would open my mouth and tell him exactly what was wrong with who he was. His voice turns soft again.

  
“But if part of you still loves me... That means you can fall in love with me again, and I'm pretty sure you will.”

  
I can see the utter confidence in his eyes, the determination. 

  
I'm sure he can sense the emotions from me, utter disbelief he would think that, quiet resignation to my new life, but then something happens.

  
There's another mind somewhere nearby that feels oddly familiar. I can sense this person reading Luke's and my thoughts, and I can read hers in return.

  
Her thoughts towards Luke are full of fear and hatred. I can also sense loss emanating from her- whoever's here, she lost something important to her thanks to Luke.

  
And her thoughts directed to me come as a surprise. There's almost a painful kind of sorrow that I'm here, fear for some obscure future, and love. The love this mystery girl feels for me is intense, so intense it's odd, seeing as I know nothing about her.

  
Suddenly, there's awareness in the girl's mind, and then it closes off. I get an image of a wall of ice, high and blue-white and cold. 

  
I close my mind off too. I've shared too much.

  
There's flickers of emotions jumping across Luke's face, but the predominant one is anger. 

  
“I'm going to be right back, Jace.” He tells me. “Go ahead and look around, but don't go into any buildings if you spot them. Dreamland is unstable right now.”

  
Luke disappears, leaving me alone.

  
Relieved at the knowledge I might have even a few minutes to myself, I set off in some random direction and allow myself to wonder about my family. 

  
They've doubtless gotten the news by now about me. 

  
How did they take it? Is Dad angry? Did Nico do anything to let on that they knew what was going to happen? Have they collected my body by now, maybe brought me back to the Underworld?

  
Are they trying to figure out a way to me?

  
I hope for their sakes that they think I'm as good as dead. It would be better for them all if they did. I have a feeling that Luke's grown past the boundaries of any normal ghost, that he's far more powerful than he should be.

  
I'm actually wondering how, when I realize I've moved through Dreamland without willing myself to do so. 

  
There's a building in front of me. I have to crane my head back to see the top of it. It's an old building, with the appearance of a castle.

  
Remembering Luke's warning, I don't enter the building, though I can't help but be curious. This castle positively radiates knowledge and age.  Instead of entering like I want to, I just stand and observe the building.

  
For just a moment, I can sense someone inside. I don't feel anything in specific, just knowledge that someone is in there, and I can sense some sort of bitter feeling.

  
“There you are!” 

  
I whip around at the sound of Luke's voice, actually somewhat relieved to find him there. Something about the building, and whatever is in there, is unsettling to me in a way I can't explain.

  
“Sorry.” I say, stumbling over my explanation, a little afraid he'll get angry. “I was just wondering about something and then I was here, I don't know-”

  
“Jace!” Luke interrupts me. “It's okay. I just couldn't find you. I was worried you fell into the Pit of Sleep for a minute there.”

  
I close my mouth, nodding. There's irritation in Luke's eyes, but it's carefully controlled. 

  
What's his play here? I ask myself silently. What does he have to gain from being nice to me?

  
I don't ask him these questions. Instead, I ask him,

  
“What is this place?”

  
Luke looks up at the building, grinning slightly. 

  
“It's a library. Every book that was never written is there.”  
  


I nod, accepting the explanation, then ask, 

  
“Who lives in there?”

  
Luke shrugs slightly. He couldn't care less.

 

“Just some old librarian, I think. A demon who came here a long time ago. He just wants to read, barely ever talks to anyone from what I've heard.”  
  


Luke slides his arm around around my shoulder, his fingernails digging into the skin on my upper arm. I can't tell if it's drawing blood or not.  
  


“Come on.” He says. “I need to show you something.”

* * *

  
  
We walk for a long time before coming up on another one of those odd buildings.

  
This castle doesn't radiate knowledge. It radiates fear. This castle looks lumbering and large, a beast hunched over a victim. Inside the castle walls, trees reach towards the sky leaflessly, like skeleton arms.

  
I let Luke lead me into the castle, down into the throne room before I open my mouth again. 

  
“What's this place?”

  
“The center of the kingdom.”

  
I look at him for a moment in confusion; in answer, he picks up a cape off the throne and fastens it around his shoulders. I can hear voices screaming in it, people pleading, and I flinch back from it.

  
“This is Nightmare Castle.” He continues. “I'm the King here.”

  
He looks up at me, a strange light in his eyes, and I know why he's been being nice to me.

  
“You're going to marry me. You'll be its Queen.” No questions, just statements. “And it will anchor the spells I've been working on after the ceremony. You'll have your soul anchored here, so even when your body dies in the real world- and it will die, eventually- you'll still be here. With me.”

  
His eyes are alight with some twisted love. He cups my face and pulls me into a kiss, and all I can do is close my eyes. I don't fight him, not anymore.

  
Why should I, when there's no hope left?


	13. Chapter 13

Luke spends most of his time with me. If he's truly the king of this place, he must not have much in the way of duties.

 

I have a nasty black eye, because of him. He got another look inside my mind, found out I still hated him, and lost control.

 

I'm thankful he doesn't keep me cooped up in that awful castle of his, otherwise I feel like I would suffocate.

 

I do a lot of walking- the dreamlands are always changing. Some parts of them look like my old home in the palace. I try to stay in those places, when they exist. The others don't hold good memories.

 

The little pool house Luke called his own.

 

Aline's house, where Luke had once threatened to cut my eye out.

 

When I reach a spot of the dreamlands that reminds me of his car, I stop and turn the opposite way, ignoring the way my hands shake.

 

Unfortunately, there's only so much wandering a person can do before they start _wondering._

 

Namely- how does the dreamlands do the things it does? How does it reach inside someone's mind and change to fit their perspective?

 

And other questions- How did Luke come to be King of this place? How did he learn to twist the reality of what was here?

 

Were there any citizens here he played tyrant to?

 

When that thought crossed my mind, Dreamland shifted. The world went from looking like the inside of Lucitor Castle to being a blank white dreamscape.

 

In front of me once more was that _ancient_ castle.

 

_Who lives there?_

 

_A demon that came here a long time ago._

 

I reach to push the door open, then hesitate. If Luke finds out I disobeyed his orders, he'll be livid.

 

_You need to know,_ my mind insists.

 

So after a moment, I carefully uncurl the part of my brain that can sense emotion, reaching out tentatively to find where Luke is.

 

After a few minutes of standing there with my hand hovering inches from the door, I manage to find Luke.

 

He's not asleep, but somewhat...  _dormant_ is the only word I can describe. He's not focusing on Dreamland anymore, but on something in the waking world.

 

I have time.

 

I push the door open and step in, watching as the door swings shut soundlessly behind me. After the moment it takes me to adjust to the near-complete lack of light in here, I start moving forwards.

 

_Everything that was never written is in here._

 

_I might be able to save Arrog._

 

At that thought my heart swells suddenly and painfully with hope. All of this will be easier to stand if I can at least help Arrog.

 

Someone clears their throat loudly and pointedly, making me jump.

 

When I turn around, the first thing that stands out to me is the candlelight glow, illuminating a few feet around it.

 

The next is the demon.

 

He's tall- I have to crane my head back to look at him- but _young._ He looks younger than me- if I had to guess, I'd put him somewhere around Nico's age. 14, not quite 15?

 

_This is the demon who's been here for centuries? He's a fucking kid._

 

Time must work differently here, which only makes sense. It doesn't behave like a normal dimension.

 

In the few short seconds my mind is absorbing this, he speaks.

 

“Can I... help you?”

 

There's a sarcastic twist to his words that says clearly I'm not welcome. I choose to ignore it, lifting my head. I figure I should be polite.

 

“My name is Jacelyn Marisol Lucitor-Diaz. Do you mind if I take a look in your books?”

 

His eyes narrow in annoyance, and I suppress the urge to roll my eyes. Luke mentioned that this guy only wanted to read.

 

“I'd rather you not go off on your own.” He says. “Things have a way of disappearing these days.”

 

“With Luke around?” I say before I can think twice. “I don't doubt it.”

 

_Fuck. Shit. Jace, you could have just made a huge mistake there._

 

A confused expression flits across the librarian's face before vanishing just as easily.

 

“Ah, our self-appointed King.”

 

Now contempt is loading his words.

 

“Good to know he's self-appointed.” I say. What the hell is wrong with me? I should be watching my words more carefully. Yet, I'm almost certain he doesn't support Luke.

 

He nods, and I look at him carefully.

 

_Only one way to tell._

 

I look at him, summoning up my best poker face- or “princess expression”, depending.

 

“Where do your loyalties lie?”

 

Silence for the space of a few moments. He looks at me, sizing me up, the same way I did him. When he replies, his tone is entirely unreadable.

 

“The Queen of the Dreamlands.” He says.

 

For a moment, there is total confusion on my part, because Luke is the only ruler. And then I realize.

 

_He means me. He must have heard about this whole marriage plan of Luke's. I can trust him._

 

“Do you have books on sleep spells?” I ask. “Specifically on Pixtopian sleep spells and spells cast in the Dreamlands themselves.”

 

“Stay close and follow me.” He says, turning. “You don't want to get lost here.”

 

I follow a few short steps behind him, walking almost silently through the library. After the chaos I've gone through these past weeks, I find myself appreciating the quiet far more than I used to.

 

He leads me up a staircase and through stacks of other books, walking without ever faltering, sure of where he's going.

 

“There are maybe three here that are of any use.” He says.

 

I pick out the three he gestures to and sit on the floor, making myself comfortable.

 

Passages from the books jumble together as I read.

 

_The Pixtopian sleep spells are some of the strongest spells to be used in the entirety of the waking worlds. When someone has been put under by a sleeping spell, it is highly difficult for them to be woken up..._

 

_Spells anchored in the Dreamlands take an incredible amount of magic, but are rarely broken. The only spells known to counter these are contained in the five core books of the Unwritten Library..._

 

Each of the three books stated that if a sleeping spell went too long before being broken, the subject of the spell would die.

 

I find nothing that would help me break the spells, only information stating how difficult it is to break them.

 

“There was nothing helpful in any of these. Unless knowing the fact that I'm going to die is helpful, and I already knew that.”

 

“Did you?” He says, his tone one of mild interest. “Good then, that will probably help you hold on to this world for a while yet.

 

“I don't give a _fuck_ about how long I exist.” I say, surprising myself with how vehement I sound. “Luke has already ensured I'm going to be here with some sort of spell of his. What I _care_ about is that my boyfriend put himself in a sleep spell to try and save me from Luke, and if I do _one_ thing before I die, I want to save him.”

 

The librarian takes this outburst in stride, with hardly a blink of his eye.

 

“Your significant other is Pixtopian, I take it?”

 

“Yeah.” I say after a moment, watching him.

 

“How long has he been asleep?”

 

“A week.”

 

“How high up is he?”

 

“He's a prince. His aunt is the Empress.”

 

“Then it's impossible to wake him up.” He says. “He's got a matter of days before he's dead. And you'll die within the week. “

 

His tone is dismissive as he picks up the books I was reading, shelving them again. When I push myself to my feet, he takes his candle again.

 

“I'll see you out.” He says.

 

I nod and he leads me back through the bookshelves, down the stairs, and holds open the door. I step out, looking up at him one more time.

 

“Thank you for your assistance.”

 

He gives me a thin-lipped smile, nodding.

 

“If I can assist you again, let me know. I'm always willing to help.”

 

This makes me bark out a laugh, nodding.

 

“I'll do that.” I say, and the door closes in front of me.

 


	14. Chapter 14

As soon as the door shuts in my face, my hands go to my head, tugging lightly on an end of my hair. I repress the urge to _scream_ , to pour out all the fury I'm feeling for everyone to hear. Instead I started walking, striding across the land and hardly paying attention to the way the land shifts and changes under my feet.

  
What the _hell?_ Did that librarian think he was doing me a _favor_ by telling me how impossible the situation was?

  
“Not only is there no way out of the situation, but you and the boy you love are going to die within the week!” I hiss under my breath, bitterly.

  
I'm so lost in my anger I don't notice the Pit until I nearly step into it.

  
I see a flash out of the corner of my eye as I teeter on the edge, trying not to fall into the Pit- a small, dark blur that darts forwards and grabs my left elbow, yanking me back.

  
Away from the Pit of Sleep now I whip around to face whatever saved me, halfway nervous that it's Luke, but it's not.

  
A girl stands in front of me, her horns only coming up to my nose. She's got bushy black hair and teal eyes. On her cheeks are markings similar to mine, but green with small dots on the outer sides of the spirals. There's a cut on her right cheek, cutting right through one of the markings.

  
The girl grins at me, adjusting her red T-shirt. And then she speaks.

  
“Hi, Mom.” She says. “That was a close call.”

  
I blink, look down at the girl in front of me and raise an eyebrow.

  
“I'm sorry, but did you just call me _Mom_?”

  
The girl's markings start glowing bright green and she tugs on an end of hair, only making it bushier.

  
“Right, sorry,” She says before looking up at me. “I guess I should introduce myself. I'm Amaranth Isabelle Johnson.”

  
Warning bells go  off in my head, but Amaranth (my _daughter?_ ) holds up her hands quickly, trying to reassure me.

  
“Before you say anything, no I'm not your future daughter. I'm a dream that Luke created when he was thirteen.”

  
This brings some relief, enough so that I can keep questioning her.

  
“Why did you help me?”

  
Amaranth gives me a smile, which is bitter and sarcastic and tired all at once. That expression on a girl who looks about fifteen is unsettling. It's the sort of expression someone makes when they've been living through hell and no one understands.

  
“I hate Luke.” She says, shrugging. “I arranged things so that he would die- long story, believe me, but it backfired in my face. He had me in some kind of prison, a dream loop, but I managed to bust out of there. Now I'm just trying to fix things, help you and Dad out.”

  
I give her a questioning look, and she barks out a laugh.

  
“Not Luke. He might have created me, but beyond that he's got no right to be called Dad.”

  
“Then who are you calling Dad?”

  
Amaranth's smile goes from bitter to excited within three seconds. 

  
“That's why I was looking for you!! Follow me.”

  
With this the girl turns on her heel- she's barefoot, in jeans and some fancy red t-shirt- and waves to me over her shoulder. I notice there's thin slits in the fabric on the back of her shirt, possibly to allow for wings.

  
For a moment I hesitate to follow the girl, but something- maybe using my magic earlier to reach out and feel emotion, maybe just plain intuition, tells me that she's safe.

  
So I follow her.

  
We walk for a long time, and now the patchwork reality of dreamland is shifting to fit two people's perceptions. We walk through areas carpeted like Lucitor castle, or for a while we walk through a forest where thorns creep on the ground that looks suspiciously reminiscent of the castle in Sleeping Beauty. 

  
Just as I'm about to open my mouth to ask where we're going- I can feel that Luke's mind is starting to shift from whatever's going on in the waking world, and I'm sure he'll be looking for me soon- we come across a rundown little house.

  
“It's taken from that movie The Glass Castle.” Amaranth says somewhat apologetically. “I have to work with what people dream about, and without my mirror it's a lot more difficult.”

  
I nod, stowing away this information for later, and she pushes the door open, calling out to whoever is inside.

  
“Hey, I'm back. Sorry it took a while, I ran into some stuff.”

  
Then a familiar voice replies, and my heart nearly stops in my chest.

  
“I was worried Luke had found-”

  
“ _Arrog_?” I demand.

  
And my ex-boyfriend rounds the corner. I see his eyes widen and then he's glowing, his aura sparkling softly as he nearly falls into bell-speak.

  
I watch as he catches himself, lowering his voice quickly so he could be heard.

  
“ _Princess_?” 

  
The way he says it makes it sound like an endearment instead of my title and suddenly I'm choking back tears, crossing the ramshackle fake wooden floors in a few steps to throw my arms around him.

  
It takes a moment, but he hugs me back and suddenly we're both talking at the same time.

  
“Princess, I'm so sorry I didn't stop him, I should have known something was going on-”

  
“Arrog, I'm so glad I got to see you again, I'm sorry for breaking up with you but I didn't see another way to save you-”

  
We fall silent at the same time, and the glow hovering around Arrog intensifies just a bit.

  
“I know it's a little too late to say this,” I begin, feeling my markings grow hot and begin glowing, “But I really want you to know before Luke is back that...  I love you, Arrog.”  
  


Arrog's glow gets brighter and he's opening his mouth to respond, but then Amaranth speaks up once more.  
  


“Sorry to interrupt this, but we don't have much time before Luke is done giving grandma and my aunts and uncles nightmares.” She says, stepping forwards. “Arrog, it's time for us to be waking you up now.”


	15. Chapter 15

Amaranth's announcement falls in the middle of silence, and I turn to face her, raising an eyebrow.

 

“The librarian said it would be impossible to wake him up.”

 

Suddenly that look of a person who's been through hell is gone, and Amaranth is staring at me with a myriad of emotions on her face. It takes me a moment to pinpoint them all- surprise, relief, sorrow... and a sort of wistfulness. As soon as she realizes I'm studying her, the walls are back up and the bitter smile is back in place.

 

“Good to know that grump is okay.” She says, her voice far too light for what she seemed to be feeling just a minute ago. “I was worried Luke had gone after him.”

 

Ignoring what she says, mostly out of politeness, I change back to the earlier topic.

 

“How are you going to wake Arrog up?”

 

Amaranth's smile softens and becomes more genuine.

 

“I'm going to get a little help from my baby sister.” She says.

 

Confusion is mirrored on both mine and Arrog's faces, and Amaranth laughs. The simple action makes her look more like the kid she is, and a sudden wave of love for her comes over me.

 

Being a dream that _Luke_ created must have been awful for this girl. And yet she still managed to have her own set of morals, to realize the things he did was wrong and want to correct them. It's clear she doesn't even know if she's going to be around after she helps stop him.

 

Suddenly she feels more like an actual _daughter_ to me instead of something Dreamland spit out, and I make a silent promise that I'm going to protect her for as long as I can.

 

“Watch and see.” Amaranth says in response to our unasked questions, and then her expression goes vacant. Her eyes flicker back and forth and her fingers move at her sides, as though she's twisting something around them, searching.

 

After a moment she's grinning- pure happiness and love shining through on her face.

 

And then _she_ appears.

 

A pixie just a little taller than Arrog, who's hovering in the air next to Amaranth. Her hair is purple and impossibly curly, hanging down just past her feet with a small flourish. She's got purple markings on her face, and an odd little curlicue in the middle of her forehead.

 

“Mom, Dad,” Amaranth says proudly, “meet your future daughter.”

 

The pixie- my daughter- lets her gaze drift from the rafters, looking down at us. I notice that small purple feathers edge her wings.

 

“Oh, hello,” says the girl, drifting forwards a bit and smiling bemusedly. “You're so much younger than you were last I saw you two.”

 

“Last you saw...” I begin. The pixie girl waves her hand, dismissive of my words.

 

“You know what I mean, mother-to-be!” She says, a grin on her face. “Time goes in all sorts of loops, its very fascinating. I could explain it to you, but I feel like maybe Oivy-Woivy could explain better. If ever he feels like it, that is.”

 

She turned to look at Amaranth, raising an eyebrow at the girls look of confusion. “Oh, you don't know him yet? I could have sworn you two already met.”

 

Amaranth looked only more confused than before, but she shook her head to clear it.

 

“Sis, I love you, but we don't have time to figure out what's happened and what still needs to.” She said. “Luke is on his way, and we need to wake Arrog up.”

 

“Luke?” My daughter says, then shivers slightly. “I don't like him. He has eyes that rather remind me of a beetle.”

 

Arrog chuckles beside me, and I have to bite back a smile of my own.

 

“None of us like him,” Amaranth said patiently. “That's why we're trying to wake Arrog up, so that-”

 

“So that you can stop him and take your spot again?” The girl says, flipping upside down. “It's not half as fun without you, you know. And none of us know where _you_ are.”

 

Amaranth's eyes widen slightly, but she takes the information in stride and is soon moving on.

 

“Well, that, and to make sure _you_ exist.” She said, waving a hand around. “We need to do this job together. Waking up Arrog is just the first step of that, and only a Pixtopian noble can break this sort of spell.”

 

“Which I am,” the pixie says, drifting aimlessly, one hand rubbing her chin thoughtfully. “Or, will be. Time is so odd here, but they aren't ready to marry yet?”

 

At this, Arrog starts glowing and I choke, unsure of what to say.

 

“Not yet.” I manage to confirm after a moment. “I'm not even eighteen yet-- whats your name?” I break off, wondering what to call her.

 

“Oh, I can't tell you that, because you haven't decided yet! But for now, you can just call me L.” She said, grinning.

 

“Okay, L, how do we wake Arrog up?”

 

“And how- how can we stop Luke?” Arrog chimes in, looking up at me.

 

“Oh, that part I have worked out.” Amaranth said easily. “When you wake up, you're going to explain the whole situation to Grandma and Granddad and everyone else. You'll tell them about me, and I can create a portal big enough to allow you all in.”

 

Arrog nods, thinking about it before taking a breath.

 

“Okay then, let's do it.” He says, his expression determined.

 

L flipped herself rightside up again, floating down until she _almost_ touched the floor. She looked up at me and smiled brightly, before turning to Arrog.

 

And then several things happened in quick succession.

 

I felt another mind closing in- felt Luke reaching out, sensing where I was. Then I could feel his fury start to build.

 

Amaranth turned pale, her lazy smile vanishing as panic took its place.

 

And, just as Luke appeared in the ramshackle cabin, L seized Arrog's face.

 

“Dad,” she said, quite seriously. “You have to _wake up._ Or we'll run out of bread, and then you and Mom won't be there to replace it.”

 

Luke crossed the cabin in three short steps, one hand flying out and hitting me hard enough to knock me back.

 

From my spot half-slouched against the wall, I saw Arrog reach for me, but then he dissolved, swept away by some invisible magic.

 

At the same time, green flames suddenly lit the surrounding area.

 

For a moment the cabin was burning, the smoke too thick to see through, and then it dissolved, and Amaranth was gone.

 

There was only L left, and she levelled a curious look at Luke.

 

“I would introduce myself, but I really must be going. The people in the eastern hemisphere are beginning to dream, and I simply have too many muffins.” She said.

 

This seemed to stop Luke as he tried to work out his statement, and my small daughter was gone in a flash of lilac, leaving no sign she had ever been there.

 

Luke turns back to me, the white in his eyes almost entirely replaced by black.

 

“Well,” he growls, “I certainly hope you've had your fun.”

 

He shoves me against the wall, his hands wrapping around my throat, cutting off my air supply.

 

A short time later, as everything begins to fade, he drops me to the floor.

 

I could only stare blankly at the spot where Arrog vanished, listening to Luke chanting as the blackness closed in.

 

* * *

 

 

Back in the waking world, Nico sat up straight in their chair as the machines began to go off.

 

Their mother rushed into the room, making Nico try to look around her to see what was going on.

 

Arrog's eyes were blinking open, one hand already reaching to pull the cannula that had been regulating his breath.

 

Even though they had been worried about their sister's boyfriend, he wasn't the concern at this moment. What concerned Nico was the sight of their mother, trying to restart Jace's heart beating again.

 

Arrog made himself sit up as the rest of Nico's family flooded the room, eerily quiet.

 

All Nico could hear was the flat, unending _beep._ All they could see was the flat green line.

 

And the only thing they could process was that their older sister had just died.


End file.
